Photos
Quotes
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Carlton Blanchard : [after 23 hours of misunderstandings and $10,000, Carlton has beaten his estranged brother of 50 years at an airport in Wyoming] Well, I said all I had to say to that son of a bitch! What are you waiting for? Take off!
Brian Hackett : Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I don't get it. You pay $10,000 and fly all this way just so you can beat your brother senseless?
Carlton Blanchard : Hell, no! I got my daddy's watch back, too!... wait a minute! This isn't Daddy's watch! And, come to think of it, Milford doesn't have red hair... maybe it *was* Las Cruces!
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Carlton Blanchard : Hey, if a monkey were to bite ya, what kinda drugs would they make ya take?
Antonio Scarpacci : I don't know... maybe Joe knows...
Joe Montgomery Hackett : You sure ask a lotta questions, don't you, Carlton?
Carlton Blanchard : Well, my mother always told me 'There's no such thing as a stupid question'.
Brian Hackett : Run that one about the monkey past her sometime.
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Carlton Blanchard : Are we on the ground?
Brian Hackett : No, we crashed and died, and Heaven's really disappointing.
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Brian Michael Hackett : [waving to an empty cornfield] So long, Shoeless Joe. Well, it's official: I have absolutely no idea where the hell we are.
Lowell Mather : Well, the corn's as high as an elephant's eye. I'd say we're in Iowa.
Brian Michael Hackett : That's Oklahoma, you nimrod.
Lowell Mather : [looking at Brian's feet] Well, I may be a nimrod, but at least I'm not the one standing in cow pies.
Joe Montgomery Hackett : [emerging from another section of the cornfield] Well, I couldn't find any signs of life. Any word from Antonio?
Lowell Mather : No, not since he disappeared down that dirt road. Hey, wouldn't it be neat if he got picked up by aliens? This is where it happens, you know: cornfields in Iowa!
Brian Michael Hackett : We're not in Iowa!
Lowell Mather : Oh right,*Stinky* thinks we're in Oklahoma!
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Brian Hackett : STUPID-HEAD!
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Brian Hackett : We are now flying over Amish Country - phrases to avoid include "Yo Beardy!" and "Hey Mr. No-Buttons."
