Wings (TV Series)

Fools Russian (1995)

David Schramm: Roy Biggins

Photos 

Quotes 

• Roy Biggins : Listen, I've got an announcement. It's a little thing so don't make a big deal of it.

  Helen Chapel : Okay, what's up?

  Roy Biggins : I'm getting married.

  Brian Michael Hackett : Uhh, what?

  Helen Chapel : What?

  Brian Michael Hackett : You're kidding.

  Helen Chapel : Roy, so many questions leap to mind. Like, where'd you meet her, what's she like?

  Brian Michael Hackett : What kind of bet did she lose?

• Helen Chapel : Why do you want to spend the rest of your life with someone you don't even know?

  Roy Biggins : The truth? There hasn't been anybody IN my life since Sylvia left me! I am tired of watching everybody else have a life! And I go home to my dog, and my TV, and my erotic decanter collection...

• Helen Chapel : Roy, don't do this! You once had the real thing with Sylvia. Don't give up looking for that now. You know in your heart of hearts, this is not right, and neither one of you are gonna be happy.

  Roy Biggins : You know Chapel, if it was anybody else you would think it was romantic. Well forget it. This is right, and I know it! I am gonna make that little lady Mrs. Anya Vol... something Biggins.

• Roy Biggins : Anya.

  Anya Volkova : Yes?

  Roy Biggins : We both know what's going on here. Let's get married tomorrow. I mean, we couldn't ask for a better rapport, and the physical thing is obviously happening, so.

  Anya Volkova : So be it. If it is to be done, it best be done quickly.

  Roy Biggins : Ah, you don't know how long I've waited to hear someone utter those words.

• Helen Chapel : Okay, forget about Anya. Why do YOU wanna do this?

  Roy Biggins : For a chance at a little happiness! And because I've fallen for her.

  Helen Chapel : Oh please. Roy...

  Roy Biggins : It is true. It happened the minute I saw her. She's... she's smart, and she's classy. Not to mention beautiful. I'm crazy about her, and I think she feels the same way about me.

  [Anya is audibly crying in the next room] 

• Helen Chapel : Hey Roy, I've got a good idea. Why don't you take her to the Left Bank Cafe?

  Roy Biggins : Oh, that artsy-fartsy place. Why do we wanna go there?

  Helen Chapel : Because they have some lovely paintings, and Anya loves art.

  Roy Biggins : Since when?

  Helen Chapel : Since she got her doctorate in Art History.

  Roy Biggins : Art History?

  [beat] 

  Roy Biggins : I thought it was Archery.

• Roy Biggins : [after realizing Anya won't be happy married to him]  Ah, what the hell am I doing?

  Anya Volkova : What?

  Roy Biggins : I thought I wanted to give up my swinging single life, but I don't. I got too many wild oats to sow. Baby, this wedding is off!

  Anya Volkova : [surprised]  Really?

  Roy Biggins : Yep. As they say in Russian, auf Wiedersehen!