Wings (TV Series)

Joe Blows: Part 1 (1993)

David Schramm: Roy Biggins

Quotes 

• Joe Montgomery Hackett : Sir, it took me some doing, but here it is. Here's your briefcase. Look, I'm really very sorry that you had a bad experience with Sandpiper and I'd like the chance to make it up to you. So, if you ever decide to fly with us again, that flight's on the house, okay?

  Luggage Man : [Glances at briefcase]  It's scratched.

  Joe Montgomery Hackett : What?

  Luggage Man : There's a scratch on it, right here, and it wasn't there before. I'm filing a damage claim. Somebody's going to pay for this, and it's *not* going to be me.

  Joe Montgomery Hackett : [laughing]  Well, that's not a problem, sir! There's no need to file a report. Here, come with me; I've got just the thing for you. I am going to take your briefcase and put it through our special scratch remover!

  [Throws briefcase through office door] 

  Joe Montgomery Hackett : You can collect your bags right through there! Thank you for flying Sandpiper!

  Joe Montgomery Hackett : All right, Scotty, where were we? Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, you were, uh, asking me about my life.

  [Takes map of Nantucket off of Roy's wall] 

  Joe Montgomery Hackett : I think that right here is pretty much everything you need to know.

  [Points at map] 

  Joe Montgomery Hackett : This is Nantucket. I was born here, I live here, and I am probably gonna die here.

  [Throws map] 

  Brian Michael Hackett : Joe, take it easy! Relax!

  Joe Montgomery Hackett : Relax? I can't relax! If I relax, who's gonna try to keep this damn airline in business? Certainly not you. No, you're too busy wrestling with life's greater problems, like your recent bout with mediocre sex.

  Brian Michael Hackett : Little louder, Joe, I don't think everybody heard you.

  Roy Biggins : No, I can hear fine, thanks.

  Helen Chapel : [after Joe knocks a stool over at the lunch counter]  Joe, stop it!

  Joe Montgomery Hackett : No, YOU stop it, Helen! You stop coming to me every time you have a problem with your boyfriend! Did it ever occur to you that I am alone here, and maybe I don't wanna hear about it? I am SICK of everyone running to me everytime they have a problem. Faye has a crisis, run to Joe; Antonio wants to buy a new cab, run to Joe; Roy wants to gloat, run to Joe. Well, where do *I* run to? Where do *I* go? Where do I go, when my dream of flying jets turns into the nightmare of being a baggage handler, huh? SOMEBODY tell me. Where do I go... when it finally dawns on me that my life SUCKS?