- Helen Chapel: [Joe and Helen have just kissed. They break in surprise] What the hell was that?
- Joe Montgomery Hackett: I dunno. One minute we're spanking each other with meat, and the next it got weird.
- Gail: [to Joe] What you and Helen have is really kinda special. What you and I have is really kinda special. What Helen and I have is really kinda special. What the three of us have is really kinda sick.
- Gail: [after trying to avoid talking to each other] Hi, Helen.
- Helen Chapel: Hi, Gail.
- Gail: How are you?
- Helen Chapel: Fine.
- Gail: Why are these moments between us always so uncomfortable?
- Helen Chapel: I dunno. I guess 'cause I'm Joe's ex, and you're his... why.
- Joe Montgomery Hackett: And then there were two.
- Helen Chapel: You must be talking about you and this veal, 'cause I am outta here.
- Joe Montgomery Hackett: Wait wait, but we have some talking to do.
- Helen Chapel: About what?
- Joe Montgomery Hackett: What? About what just happened here. That was incredible! That was pure passion. You can't deny that.
- Helen Chapel: Oh Joe, just because you act crazy for a minute doesn't mean you check into an asylum. We had something once, and it took me a long time to get over it. But I'm in a really good place now. I'm independent, and I really like my life. And I really can't get back into this. So, no offense... but then there was one.
- [Helen leaves]
- Gail: [Gail walks in on Joe and Helen kissing] Hi, guys.
- Helen Chapel: [Joe and Helen break apart] Ohhhh.
- Joe Montgomery Hackett: Gail...
- Helen Chapel: Gail.
- Joe Montgomery Hackett: This is not what you think.
- Gail: No? I think you were kissing Helen.
- Joe Montgomery Hackett: Okay maybe it is what you think.
- Helen Chapel: Gail, I'm so embarrassed.
- Joe Montgomery Hackett: Look, there is a really good explanation for what was going on here.
- Gail: I'm waiting.
- Joe Montgomery Hackett: Oh, you wanna hear it?