Photos
Quotes
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Brian Hackett : [to Roy] The fact is that when one guy sees another guy about to get dumped on, he wants to help him out... even if that guy's you.
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Roy Biggins : She just wants to get me into bed and use me like some cheap piece of meat?
Brian Hackett : Exactly.
Roy Biggins : I can live with that.
[slams door]
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Mark the Waiter : I agree with Brian. It's very straaange.
Brian Hackett : Who are you again?
Antonio : Don't you remember? He's Helen's crab boy.
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Brian Hackett : My God! Look at that woman! That's Roy's ex-wife!
Alex : Hold it! Hold it! Somebody actually married Roy?
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Mark the Waiter : I'm Mark... your waiter... from the Crab House... I served you... craaaaabs... I just came by to say 'Hi'... so... Hiii...
Helen : Hi.
Mark the Waiter : Hiiii.
Brian Hackett : [to Alex] Close your eyes, and you could swear you were at the Algonquin Round Table!
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Roy Biggins : Oh Hackett, why am I being so stupid? What is wrong with me?
Brian Hackett : Well it's just a guess, but it sounds like you might've experienced a moment of human dignity.
Roy Biggins : Damn! I was afraid of that!
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Roy Biggins : Hackett I wanted her, but I heard this little voice in my head say "Don't do it, don't do it!" Now what the hell was that?
Brian Hackett : It's your conscience.
Roy Biggins : Aw no, no! Oh, this can't be happening. I'm losing my edge here, Hackett!
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Brian Hackett : [about Roy's ex-wife, Sylvia] I've seen her house. She's way too classy for Roy. She's got a mansion, a butler. She's got those heart-shaped soaps in her bathroom that a, less-cultured person would've mistaken for little white chocolates.
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Brian Michael Hackett : What are you so happy about?
Lowell Mather : Well that was some guy on the phone telling me that Bunny was coming over to Nantucket to sleep with me, because she caught him in bed with his secretary.
Brian Michael Hackett : Somebody just called you on Roy's phone... to tell you that Bunny's... coming to sleep with YOU?
Lowell Mather : ...Yeah!
Brian Michael Hackett : Well did he actually ever mention Bunny's name?
Lowell Mather : Well, no but he said my ex-wife. And you know, I mean how many ex-wives do I have?
Brian Michael Hackett : I KNEW, I knew there had to be a reason! Lowell, Lowell, don't you get it? That was obviously Sylvia's husband on the phone. He must've had an affair, right? THAT'S why, that's why she came here: to get even with him by sleeping with Roy.
Lowell Mather : Yeah.
[snaps his fingers in Brian's face]
Lowell Mather : Hello? I don't even know him! Why would he call me?
