Wonderfalls (TV Series)
Pink Flamingos (2004)
Katie Finneran: Sharon Tyler
Quotes
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Sharon Tyler : Tense? TENSE? I'm not tense, I am so far from tense, I'm past tense.
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Beth : It's okay if this is stressful for you, you know. It is for me, too.
Sharon Tyler : It is?
Beth : Yeah. This isn't easy for me. Up until quite recently, I was married and living with a man.
Sharon Tyler : Of course. You're right, I'm sorry. I can relax. I promise.
Beth : I mean, I can only imagine how much more stressful it would be if I were actually gay.
Sharon Tyler : Aren't you?
Beth : Not exclusively. I like men.
Sharon Tyler : I'm not a man.
Beth : Yeah, I noticed. Like, pretty specifically noticed.
[trying to kiss]
Beth : Is this gonna be an issue?
Sharon Tyler : What? No, it's not an issue. It's a full subscription. No. You have... been with a woman before.
Beth : Yeah. I was in a sorority.
Sharon Tyler : So was I! I never got any!
Beth : Have you ever had sex with a man?
Sharon Tyler : Sex with a... God, no. No!
Beth : Does it bother you?
Sharon Tyler : That I never had sex...
Beth : That I did?
Sharon Tyler : Will you again?
Beth : I don't know. You tell me.
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Jaye Tyler : [accidentally putting her father in the hospital] How many fractures before it's multiple?
Darrin Tyler : Two.
Jaye Tyler : How many do you have?
Darrin Tyler : Seven.
Sharon Tyler : And people say you're an underachiever.
Karen Tyler : This isn't a criticism. I'm just curious. How do you run someone down from the passenger seat?
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Sharon Tyler : [Jaye accidentally hit their dad with the car] Maybe she did it on purpose. Could be an attempt at getting an early inheritance.
Karen Tyler : Your sister's not a cold-blooded murderer. She's never been a planner.
Jaye Tyler : It was an accident!
Karen Tyler : Of course it was, dear.
Sharon Tyler : Technically, it was contributory negligence.
Jaye Tyler : I feel really bad. Can we just pretend this didn't happen?
Karen Tyler : That's what the morphine's for.
