Jock Mahoney: Yancy Derringer

Quotes 

• Yancy Derringer : I'm sorry, gentlemen. I didn't mean to interrupt, but I did want to speak to the administrator.

  General Hugh Morgan : At your service, Mr. Derringer. What can I do for you?

  Yancy Derringer : Not you, General. I said the administrator.

  General Hugh Morgan : You're looking at him.

  Yancy Derringer : What?

  John Colton : That's right, Yancy. I've been recalled to Washington. From this moment on, General Hugh Morgan is the new administrator of New Orleans.

• Yancy Derringer : You're here on business?

  Major Alvin : I consider a game of poker very serious business.

• [Yancy punches Major Alvin] 

  General Hugh Morgan : Mr. Derringer, I was under the impression you were a law-abiding citizen.

  Yancy Derringer : Mr. Administrator, I don't like your men or your methods.

• Yancy Derringer : Major... what is Mr. Barker in for, sir?

  Major Alvin : Trying to steal about fifty thousand dollars.

  Yancy Derringer : Jody, you didn't.

  Jody Barker : I lost my head, Yancy.

  Yancy Derringer : Well, next time you stick to picking pockets.

  Jody Barker : I was just a weak vessel, Yance, but I never saw so much loot in all my life - bags and bags of long green all piled up. I just couldn't help myself.

• [Jody has just picked Major Alvin's pocket] 

  Yancy Derringer : Jody, what amazes me is how you go about getting by all the buttons on a uniform.

  Jody Barker : Oh, Yancy, even an amateur knows a soldier doesn't carry his wallet upstairs. He sticks it in his hip pocket.

• [When Alvin reaches for his pistol, Pahoo jams his shotgun against the major's neck] 

  Yancy Derringer : That would be a very unhealthy move, Mr. Alvin. Pahoo carries 18 split buckshot in each barrel. It would be a permanent cure for carelessness.

• Major Alvin : You remind me, Mr. Derringer, of a small boy walking through the cemetery at night whistling in the dark.

  [Yancy shoots the cigar out of Alvin's hand] 

  Yancy Derringer : And you remind me of a frog trying to blow himself up to twice his size so the big, bad black snake won't swallow it.

• Yancy Derringer : The tools of your trade, Mr. Alvin.

  Madame Francine : Of what trade?

  Yancy Derringer : Well, Mr. Alvin used to be a copyist - a master copyist and engraver. A man is called a copyist if he's engaged in copying inside of the law. They call him a forger when he's engaged in copying outside the law. Mr. Alvin used to be a copyist; now he's a forger.

• Yancy Derringer : [to Alvin]  You should never leave a piece of your past in your wallet, which obviously you haven't even missed.

  Madame Francine : Jody, again?

  Yancy Derringer : Well, in this instance you should be proud of him, Francine. He was gathering evidence on the side of the law.

  Jody Barker : Gee, I hope Mother never finds out.

• Yancy Derringer : Well, Mr. Colton, if you can still read you can see I have been appointed the administrator of New Orleans by the President of the United States.

  [Colton tears up Yancy's "appointment letter"] 

  John Colton : Will you stop playing the fool?

  Yancy Derringer : In fact, I've been looking for someone to work for me outside of the law, sort of an underground agent, and I have been seriously considering you for the job.

  John Colton : Get out of my chair.

• [last lines] 

  Yancy Derringer : I think I could be persuaded to resign my commission in favor of you. Welcome home, John.

  [Colton laughes, shakes hands with Yancy and makes sign with Pahoo] 

  John Colton : Excuse me a minute.

  [Colton opens his office door and finds Madame Francine, Opal and Pearl Girl listening at the keyhole] 

  John Colton : Madame Francine, I'll have that glass of sherry now.