- Yancy Derringer: I'm sorry, gentlemen. I didn't mean to interrupt, but I did want to speak to the administrator.
- General Hugh Morgan: At your service, Mr. Derringer. What can I do for you?
- Yancy Derringer: Not you, General. I said the administrator.
- General Hugh Morgan: You're looking at him.
- Yancy Derringer: What?
- John Colton: That's right, Yancy. I've been recalled to Washington. From this moment on, General Hugh Morgan is the new administrator of New Orleans.
- Yancy Derringer: You're here on business?
- Major Alvin: I consider a game of poker very serious business.
- [Yancy punches Major Alvin]
- General Hugh Morgan: Mr. Derringer, I was under the impression you were a law-abiding citizen.
- Yancy Derringer: Mr. Administrator, I don't like your men or your methods.
- Yancy Derringer: Major... what is Mr. Barker in for, sir?
- Major Alvin: Trying to steal about fifty thousand dollars.
- Yancy Derringer: Jody, you didn't.
- Jody Barker: I lost my head, Yancy.
- Yancy Derringer: Well, next time you stick to picking pockets.
- Jody Barker: I was just a weak vessel, Yance, but I never saw so much loot in all my life - bags and bags of long green all piled up. I just couldn't help myself.
- [Jody has just picked Major Alvin's pocket]
- Yancy Derringer: Jody, what amazes me is how you go about getting by all the buttons on a uniform.
- Jody Barker: Oh, Yancy, even an amateur knows a soldier doesn't carry his wallet upstairs. He sticks it in his hip pocket.
- [When Alvin reaches for his pistol, Pahoo jams his shotgun against the major's neck]
- Yancy Derringer: That would be a very unhealthy move, Mr. Alvin. Pahoo carries 18 split buckshot in each barrel. It would be a permanent cure for carelessness.
- Major Alvin: You remind me, Mr. Derringer, of a small boy walking through the cemetery at night whistling in the dark.
- [Yancy shoots the cigar out of Alvin's hand]
- Yancy Derringer: And you remind me of a frog trying to blow himself up to twice his size so the big, bad black snake won't swallow it.
- Yancy Derringer: The tools of your trade, Mr. Alvin.
- Madame Francine: Of what trade?
- Yancy Derringer: Well, Mr. Alvin used to be a copyist - a master copyist and engraver. A man is called a copyist if he's engaged in copying inside of the law. They call him a forger when he's engaged in copying outside the law. Mr. Alvin used to be a copyist; now he's a forger.
- Yancy Derringer: [to Alvin] You should never leave a piece of your past in your wallet, which obviously you haven't even missed.
- Madame Francine: Jody, again?
- Yancy Derringer: Well, in this instance you should be proud of him, Francine. He was gathering evidence on the side of the law.
- Jody Barker: Gee, I hope Mother never finds out.
- Pearl Girl: Good evening, Mr. Colton. Nice having you back. Do you wish an appointment with the administrator?
- John Colton: The admin...?
- [Pearl Girl knocks on the administrator's office door]
- Pearl Girl: Mr. Colton to see Mr. Derringer.
- Opal: Come in, Mr. Colton. Do come in.
- Madame Francine: Would you like a glass of sherry, Mr. Colton?
- John Colton: Thank you... What the devil are all of you doing in my office?
- Yancy Derringer: Well, Mr. Colton, if you can still read you can see I have been appointed the administrator of New Orleans by the President of the United States.
- [Colton tears up Yancy's "appointment letter"]
- John Colton: Will you stop playing the fool?
- Yancy Derringer: In fact, I've been looking for someone to work for me outside of the law, sort of an underground agent, and I have been seriously considering you for the job.
- John Colton: Get out of my chair.
- [last lines]
- Yancy Derringer: I think I could be persuaded to resign my commission in favor of you. Welcome home, John.
- [Colton laughes, shakes hands with Yancy and makes sign with Pahoo]
- John Colton: Excuse me a minute.
- [Colton opens his office door and finds Madame Francine, Opal and Pearl Girl listening at the keyhole]
- John Colton: Madame Francine, I'll have that glass of sherry now.