- [first lines]
- Yancy Derringer: Willy.
- Willy Quill: Hi, Yancy!
- Captain Tom: Hello, Yancy.
- Yancy Derringer: Tom.
- Captain Tom: When did you come aboard?
- Yancy Derringer: Cash's Crossing. Had to go down to New Orleans; thought a moonlight ride would be very nice. How's the new boiler?
- Captain Tom: Never you mind the new boiler. There's a hot poker game going on in the card room. All blacklegs, but an awful lot of money on the table.
- Yancy Derringer: Have to check to see if we can keep some of that money on board.
- Captain Tom: That's what I had in mind.
- Toby Cook: Hello, rebel.
- Yancy Derringer: Toby? Toby Cook.
- Toby Cook: That's right. Ah, would you mind pointing that Sharps somewhere else. The last time you pointed that at me, one of the bullets hit me, remember?
- Yancy Derringer: I remember.
- Yancy Derringer: When did you get out of prison?
- Toby Cook: Three days ago.
- Yancy Derringer: Did you have to use my boat for your momentous homecoming?
- Toby Cook: Yancy, that's only logical. Here you go bust up Gallatin Street, my home velvet touch, you shoot a hole in me, you get me sent to prison - naturally, I got to come home on your boat. I mighta got a chance to sink it.
- Toby Cook: Besides, the Sultana's a public carrier. That means you have to give passage even to an ex-convict.
- Yancy Derringer: That doesn't mean I have to allow you to fleece my passengers.
- Toby Cook: What, the game? Nothing, but blacklegs, gamblers. There's not an honest dealer at that table. Now you wouldn't stop a fellow from making a dishonest dollar would you?
- Yancy Derringer: All right, let's join them, but I feel like I'm throwing a lion into a den of Daniels.
- Captain Tom: Blast it, Yancy, we'll be late to the levee. We can't stop!
- Yancy Derringer: We're stopping. Pahoo...
- [Yancy and Pahoo leave the bridge]
- Captain Tom: There's darn too many captains on this blasted teakettle.
- [Ricky and Wilma hold up the poker game]
- Ricky: Put the money in the bag and remember... the Lord loveth the cheerful giver.
- [Yancy enters the Sultana's card room and discovers the gamblers robbed, bound and gagged]
- Yancy Derringer: Toby, I thought you said you could handle these boys.
- Toby Cook: The boys gave me no problem, it was the girls that handled me.
- Yancy Derringer: Gentlemen, Captain Tom will reimburse you for your losses.
- Toby Cook: I hate to be ungracious and say, "Thanks, sucker", so I'll just say thanks.
- Yancy Derringer: It's all right, Toby. The Sultana is always willing to reimburse anyone who is robbed aboard her. Even if the bandits were two big, strong girls.
- Toby Cook: They weren't very big, but they were very sincere.
- John Colton: Yancy, Secret Service reports that Toby Cook has been released from prison and is on his way here.
- Toby Cook: I'll see you soon, rebel. Mr. Administrator...
- John Colton: Wasn't that...
- Yancy Derringer, John Colton: Toby Cook.
- John Colton: Then he's already here. I want you to watch him. I don't want another Gallatin Street here, Yancy. Stay very close to him and report if anything happens.
- Yancy Derringer: I have a feeling Mr. Cook's going to remain very close to me.
- Elsie Tulliver: I feels so very foolish thinking you were a robber.
- Yancy Derringer: Robbers shouldn't bother you, Miss Elsie. That's why I came.
- Elsie Tulliver: Oh?
- Yancy Derringer: I'm looking for two robbers - young, blonde, female. I believe they're living with you.
- Elsie Tulliver: You're quite wrong, Yancy.
- Yancy Derringer: One of us is.
- Elsie Tulliver: Have you ever seen our orphanages?
- Yancy Derringer: No.
- Jody Barker: I have.
- Elsie Tulliver: It's unbelievable. Anyone can claim a child. They take them out and work them to death before they're ten, but I'm seeing that it won't happen to them or any others I can afford.
- [Colton is posing for a photograph by Mathew Brady]
- Yancy Derringer: I didn't know you considered yourself one of the beauties of New Orleans.
- John Colton: Private, arrest that man for destroying evidence.
- Yancy Derringer: I'm sorry, Toby.
- John Colton: And arrest that man for withholding evidence.
- Toby Cook: I'm sorry, Yancy.
- Yancy Derringer: This poker game over?
- Toby Cook: I guess so. Shall we start another?
- [last lines]
- Toby Cook: Let's play another hand.
- Jailer: But I got no more money. You cleaned me out.
- Yancy Derringer: Tell you what, friend jailer. I'll put up all of my money.
- Toby Cook: And I'll put up all of my money.
- Jailer: What'll I put up?
- Yancy Derringer, Toby Cook: The keys!