Young Blades (TV Series)
Wanted (2005)
Tobias Mehler: D'Artagnan
Quotes
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Jaqueline Rochey : [Jacqueline is stuck up a tree, her shirt has been torn off and she's hiding her chest in the branches] Throw me my shirt!
D'Artagnan : What for?
Jaqueline Rochey : I'm cold.
D'Artagnan : Come down out of the wind.
Jaqueline Rochey : First throw me my shirt!
D'Artagnan : Don't be ridiculous.
Gerard Rochey : I'll throw it to you!
[Picks up the shirt, realises it's torn]
Gerard Rochey : Here, take mine instead!
[Starts to pull his shirt off, answering D'Artagnan's look]
Gerard Rochey : He's ashamed of his belly button.
D'Artagnan : [as Jacqueline reaches for her shirt] I wouldn't do that, the branch will-
[the branch breaks and Jacqueline tumbles onto the floor, holding an armful of leaves to cover her chest]
D'Artagnan : There's nothing wrong with your belly button.
Gerard Rochey : Don't look at my brother like that!
Jaqueline Rochey : Oh Gerard, you can quit pretending!
Gerard Rochey : Right. Well don't look at my sister like that!
D'Artagnan : I want an explanation. I'll trade you my shirt for the truth. The whole truth! For the partial truth you get a sleeve.
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Gerard Rochey : [saying good bye] Good bye. Thank you! And remember... That man is my sister.
[walks off]
Jaqueline Rochey : Actually I'd like you to forget that I'm his sister. If I'm caught I'll be executed. Can I trust you with my secret?
D'Artagnan : [as Siroc and Ramon ride towards them] What about them?
Jaqueline Rochey : The fewer who know the better. And fewer who will know that you lost a duel to a girl... Not to mention the heart of your little Charlotte.
D'Artagnan : [shouting to the other two men] So! What do you think of our Jacques? Is he a stud or what?
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Siroc : You know, there's no reason why man can't fly.
D'Artagnan : Sure, look at Ramon.
Siroc : [laughs, then looks at Ramon, considering] Well, yeah.
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D'Artagnan : [In a fight with a Cardinal Guard, cuts off one half of the man's moustache] Oh, sorry, let me even that up for you.
[Cuts off the other half of the moustache]
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Siroc : [after D'Artagnan slides across a table and lands face first in a woman's breasts, saying thoughtfully] Bags of air could save lives.
D'Artagnan : What?
Siroc : Just thinking out loud, look out!
[Letrec attacks from behind, is stopped by Captain Duval]
Captain Duvall : [shouting] Cease this melee!
Letrec : If you can't train your musketeers, Captain Duval, we will!
Captain Duvall : Looks to me Letrec like they were training you!
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D'Artagnan : How did you like that barber job I gave that Cardinal's Guard Sir?
Captain Duvall : I didn't!
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Ramon Montalvo Francisco de la Cruz : [to D'Artagnan] You're insatiable!
D'Artagnan : Oh, well, we're both insatiable Ramon. I like women, you like... chickens.
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Jaqueline Rochey : [Dressed in men's clothes] 'Scuse me, I am interested in enlisting in the musketeers.
D'Artagnan : Yes, and I'd like to be the Queen of Romania!
Jaqueline Rochey : You are rude.
D'Artagnan : Oh it was a joke.
Jaqueline Rochey : You will apologize.
D'Artagnan : Well I thought I just did.
Jaqueline Rochey : An excuse is not an apology.
D'Artagnan : Well, aren't we the little Bantam Cock?
Jaqueline Rochey : More insults.
[pulls out a knife]
Jaqueline Rochey : Draw your weapon!
D'Artagnan : [laughs] Now all you need is a fork and you can dine with Ramon!
Jaqueline Rochey : Draw your weapon Sir!
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D'Artagnan : My I ask who it is I am about to humiliate?
Jaqueline Rochey : Jacques. Leponte. And your name Sir?
D'Artagnan : D'Artagnan.
Jaqueline Rochey : That's impossible. Too young to be the great D'Artagnan and you're
[snorts]
Jaqueline Rochey : clearly no relation.
D'Artagnan : Why's that?
Jaqueline Rochey : Because he was an excellent swordsman.
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D'Artagnan : [after throwing 'Jacques' to the floor under a cow] Enjoying the view?
Jaqueline Rochey : [Grabs cow's udder and squirts milk into his face, stands up and grabs his sword arm while putting her own sword against his crotch] Now let go.
[Takes his sword]
Jaqueline Rochey : Thank you.
[Throws it behind her, Captain Duval catches it]
Captain Duvall : Well done. Well done.
Jaqueline Rochey : Thank you. Jacques Leponte at your service.
Captain Duvall : Captain Duval.
Jaqueline Rochey : I would like to join the musketeers Captain.
D'Artagnan : You can't just join. We're an elite force...
Captain Duvall : It wouldn't hurt you to have some competition. The son of the legendary D'Artagnan isn't accustomed to losing.
D'Artagnan : He cheated.
Captain Duvall : Crying over spilt milk?
Jaqueline Rochey : That's very witty Captain.
Captain Duvall : Thank you. You have taste as well as talent.
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Captain Duvall : [after 'Jacques' tells them his sad life story, sounding truly sympathetic] That's terrible.
D'Artagnan : [sarcastically] I'm crying.
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D'Artagnan : [while they are cleaning the dungeons as punishment] You know what I hate about hard work?
Siroc : It's hard?
D'Artagnan : Exactly!
Siroc : As soon as I have conquered mechanised flight I'm getting right to work on a miracle cleanser.
Ramon Montalvo Francisco de la Cruz : Si! A cleanser that will remove even these stubborn bloodstains.
D'Artagnan : And these hard to reach corners.
Ramon Montalvo Francisco de la Cruz : But will be easy on the elbows and knees.
Siroc : Perhaps with a fresh lemony scent.
Ramon Montalvo Francisco de la Cruz : But long lasting strength.
D'Artagnan : But won't leave your hands cracked and red.
Siroc : What if it was a lotion and a cleanser?
Ramon Montalvo Francisco de la Cruz : A lotion and a cleanser in one?
Siroc : A man can dream can't he?
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Ramon Montalvo Francisco de la Cruz : When you die, may I have your horse?
D'Artagnan : Yes, but don't eat him.
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Siroc : Now, I lit the first fuse. When you pick up the prisoner, use this to light the second fuse.
D'Artagnan : Fuse? For what?
Siroc : For the gunpowder. How do you think you get up in the air? Oh, I almost forgot, here's a little bag of peanuts... Seemed like a good idea. Oh and, uh, cover your ears.
[runs for cover]
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Jaqueline Rochey : [as they try to fly the machine] Flap!
D'Artagnan : I'm flapping!
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Gerard Rochey : Jacqueline...
Jaqueline Rochey : [Hurriedly] Jacques! Jacques, your brother Jacques! Jacques.
D'Artagnan : [referring to the flying machine] Well, I think I'm starting to get the hang of this thing.
[Suddenly they fly off to one side screaming]
Siroc : [on the ground, watching them fly] He's over steering.
Ramon Montalvo Francisco de la Cruz : Yes.
[Pulls out his gun and points it at Siroc]
Siroc : [Ducks the gun and Ramon shoots the man sneaking up behind Siroc. They uncover the dead man's face] He's a musketeer!
Ramon Montalvo Francisco de la Cruz : Sergeant Morey!
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D'Artagnan : [after Jacqueline has vowed to bring down Mazarin] I'm with you.
Ramon Montalvo Francisco de la Cruz : And I!
Siroc : And I.
Jaqueline Rochey : [raises her sword] All for one and one for all...
D'Artagnan : NO, no, no, no...
[the other two are shaking their heads]
D'Artagnan : That's my father's motto.
Jaqueline Rochey : But I've been wanting to say it all my life.
D'Artagnan : And I've been hearing it my whole life. It's stale, OK? Let's just say we're brothers. Brothers in Arms!
[Throws his arm around Jacqueline]
Jaqueline Rochey : Brothers, yes. Arms- no.
[Pokes his arm off her shoulders]