Thirtysomething (TV Series)

Competition (1988)

Timothy Busfield: Elliot Weston

Quotes 

• Elliot Weston : Janine, coffee?

  Janine : No, thanks.

  Elliot Weston : For me, Janine.

• Michael Steadman : [accidentally injuring Elliot at the office]  You gotta know how sorry I am.

  Elliot Weston : Come on. Accidents happen all the time. Car wrecks, meltdowns, David Lee Roth. It happens all the time.

• Michael Steadman : Could you please stop dropping little red hairs on my desk?

  Elliot Weston : Oh, sorry.

  Michael Steadman : It's okay.

  Elliot Weston : How come you didn't want Faustine to give you the once-over?

  Michael Steadman : Because hair should not be cut by people named Faustine. It should be cut by a fat man named Al wearing polyester smocks with hairy forearms.

  Elliot Weston : Traditionalist.

• Elliot Weston : [playing laser tag, in a Darth Vader-ish voice]  How dumb can carbon-based life get? Don't you recognize me, Luke?

  Michael Steadman : Your voice is familiar.

  Elliot Weston : In subsequent films, I'll be revealed as your father.

  Michael Steadman : Father?

  Elliot Weston : Call me Pop.

• Michael Steadman : I can't believe that you just committed us to a major presentation in less than 24 hours.

  Elliot Weston : Mike, babe, it was either say yes to 24 hours or say goodbye. I figure we'll go home, kick it around on our own tonight, and mush it together in the morning.

  Michael Steadman : Mush it together? That was Warner Breslow. The man has more Clios than you have ugly neckties. You think we're gonna just go home and mush something together?

• Michael Steadman : Breslow made you an offer, didn't he? He asked you to dump the agency?

  Elliot Weston : Yeah. Werner hinted about it. What am I supposed to do, blow off everything we've worked for? I mean, what kind of person would even consider doing that?

  [seeing Mike's look] 

  Elliot Weston : Oh, Luke, say it ain't so.

  Michael Steadman : Well, at least I wanted the opportunity to turn him down. What's the point of having a little integrity if nobody ever asks you to sell out?

• Elliot Weston : [receiving a pair of sneakers from Breslow as a gift]  I guess the other day when I said that I liked the pair he was wearing, that he sent these over. What a Japanese thing to do. Wow! Hey, put yours on. We'll play some Horse.

  Michael Steadman : They're both yours.

  Elliot Weston : No, no, no. There's one pair for you, one pair for me.

  Michael Steadman : No, no. They're both your size. Your feet are so small, the only thing I could do with these would be to hang them from the rear-view mirror.

• Elliot Weston : Come on, Mike. One more game.

  Michael Steadman : No, no, no, no, no, no.

  Elliot Weston : Give me a chance to get even.

  Michael Steadman : We have to be brilliant in less than two hours. Now, come on, take that thing off and come over here and help me think of brilliant new ways to sell soft drinks.

  Elliot Weston : Oh, come on. It's just a meet and greet.

  Michael Steadman : Yes, with the man who created the concept of upscale stacking.

  Elliot Weston : Breslow's good, but he's not that good.

  Michael Steadman : He's better than us.

  Elliot Weston : He makes more money than us.

• Elliot Weston : [running late for a business meeting]  It's a ten-minute drive, right?

  Michael Steadman : For me, it's a ten-minute drive.

  Elliot Weston : What's that supposed to mean?

  Michael Steadman : It means you drive like my Aunt Judith, who used to walk around the house screwing lightbulbs into empty sockets to see if electricity was leaking out.