Futurama (TV Series)

Roswell That Ends Well (2001)

John DiMaggio: Bender, General's Assistant, Conspiracy Nut

Quotes 

• Bender : Fry, stop interfering with history! I don't wanna have to memorize a lot of new kings when I get back.

  Fry : I had no choice. I was about to not exist. I could feel myself fading away, like Greg Kinnear.

• Professor Hubert Farnsworth : Well, now everything is back as it was, and if history doesn't care that our degenerate friend Fry is his own grandfather, then who are we to judge?

  Bender : Amen.

• Fry : Bender, what was it like lying in that hole for a thousand years?

  Bender : I was enjoying it until you guys showed up.

• Bender : [after Fry has killed his grandfather]  And you are outta here!

• Fry : I've never seen a supernova blow up, but if it's anything like my old Chevy Nova, it'll light up the night's sky.

  Bender : Yeah. Anyone who misses it will regret it the rest of his life. Hey, Fry. Could you go make us some popcorn?

• General's Assistant : General, in all my years of covering top secret discoveries with sheets, I've never dramatically revealed anything as shocking as this. Dun-dun-dun! The debris from an alien spaceship.

• Leela : Have you seen today's news?

  Bender : High school gym renovations on schedule? What a load!

  Leela : No, over here! Flying saucer captured!

  Bender : That's no flying saucer. That's my ass!

• Professor Hubert Farnsworth : Choke on that, causality!

  Bender : 1947 can bite my shiny, metal...

  [Head falls off ship] 

  Bender : Aaaaaaaahhhh!

• General : What's your purpose here?

  Dr. Zoidberg : Alright, officer. I'll move it along.

  General's Assistant : What the general means is why'd you come to Earth?

  Dr. Zoidberg : Not a day goes by I don't ask myself the same question.