Mystery Science Theater 3000 (TV Series)

Final Justice (1999)

Bill Corbett: Crow T. Robot, Observer

Quotes 

• [on Geronimo's cowboy boots which bear a resemblance to a certain '90s-era computer manufacturer] 

  Crow : His boots are made by Gateway Computers.

• Crow : [Joe Don collapses]  In the time it takes him to fall the government in Italy changes three times.

• [Joe Don Baker leaves the village after the villagers nursed him back to health] 

  Mike Nelson : Well, they hustled him out of the village pretty quick.

  Tom Servo : [as Joe Don]  But wait, I'm still sick and wounded.

  Crow : [as villagers]  Uh huh. Good-BYE!

• [as Joe Don Baker chugs a large glass of milk] 

  Crow : His arteries are just looking at each other, shaking their heads.

• Crow : The sun is blotted out as Joe Don Baker approaches.

• Crow : Clowns. Terrifying in any country.

• Crow : [upon seeing Joe Don Baker's name in the credits]  Ooh, I wish I were illiterate so I wouldn't have to read that.

• [Geronimo's taxi cab driver is framed from up high which gives him a diminutive look] 

  Crow : The three-inch taxi cab driver!

• Crow : [about Joe Don Baker]  A giant baby in a hat.

• Crow : And now, the thick, meaty conclusion of "Final Justice."

• Crow : [upon seeing Joe Don Baker's horrible suit]  My Mom made me a real cowboy suit!

• Crow : Wow this movie's really drawn me in... to a deep well of despair.

• Crow : I'm wearing spurs on your Italian marble!

• [Palermo is disguised as a priest but is repeatedly accosted by a weeping woman] 

  Crow : [as Palermo]  God is dead, we're closed.

• [Captured by the bad guys, Geronimo is dragged into their lair] 

  Crow : Joe Don Baker, arriving on the set of "Final Justice".

• [Geronimo walks down a crowded Maltese sidewalk, in a shot very similar to one in "Midnight Cowboy"] 

  Crow : [singing to the tune of "Everybody's Talkin'"]  Everybody's burpin' at me, I can't smell a thing they're eatin'!

• Crow : He's going, ahead-ing, on-ing!