Mystery Science Theater 3000 (TV Series)

Final Justice (1999)

Michael J. Nelson: Mike Nelson, Goosio

Quotes 

• Mike Nelson : [seeing Joe Don Baker as a cowboy]  Meatloaf: Texas Ranger.

• [during the film, a character drops a gun and causes it to fire] 

  Tom Servo : See, Mike, that's what happened when I shot you that one time, and you'd never believe me!

  Mike Nelson : Well, now I know.

• [Joe Don Baker leaves the village after the villagers nursed him back to health] 

  Mike Nelson : Well, they hustled him out of the village pretty quick.

  Tom Servo : [as Joe Don]  But wait, I'm still sick and wounded.

  Crow : [as villagers]  Uh huh. Good-BYE!

• [as the closing theme song plays] 

  Theme song singer : You'd better run...

  Mike Nelson : Or he'll steal your lunch.

  Theme song singer : Ru-un

  Mike Nelson : Lu-unch.

• [Geronimo has just threatened a bartender by demonstrating how his ancestors, the Apaches, would slice off people's flesh by peeling an orange] 

  Mike Nelson : [as Geronimo]  ... or you won't have an unpeeled orange in the place!

• [on the Malta police] 

  Mike Nelson : Stop or we'll surrender.

• Sheriff Geronimo : If you wanna catch a pig like Palermo, you go to a pig-sty where he wallows.

  Mike Nelson : Well, you'd know pigs.

• Mike Nelson : The holy see promised air support, but never came through.

• [a bar patron, amused that Geronimo doesn't drink booze but milk, pours his drink all over Geronimo's shoes] 

  Mike Nelson : [disgusted]  Joe Don, what are you --

  [realizing] 

  Mike Nelson : Oh.

• [a bar fight breaks out] 

  Mike Nelson : Get the milk lover!

• [Geronimo is talking to people on the streets of Malta] 

  Mike Nelson : [as Geronimo]  Not even "Walking Tall"? You must've seen me in that!

• [Geronimo looks out a window at the parade on the street below] 

  Mike Nelson : [as Geronimo]  Can someone toss me up a calzone?