- Mr. Burns: You're so much more fun than Smithers. Why, he doesn't know the meaning of the word "gay"!
- Mr. Costington: Why, I don't think I've ever seen such generosity. You're a modern day Kris Kringle, sir.
- Homer Simpson: I'm just trying to dig myself out of a pit of shame.
- Mr. Costington: Say no more. I've had a bit of a shoe-sniffing problem myself. I'm... still not allowed on the third floor.
- Homer Simpson: [giving a hug] It's okay...
- Financial planner: You haven't set aside anything for retirement.
- Chief Wiggum: Oh, you know how it is with cops. I'll get shot 3 days before retirement. In the business we call it "retirony".
- Financial planner: ...What if you don't get shot?
- Chief Wiggum: What a terrible thing to say - now look, you've made my wife cry!