Hogfather (2006 TV Movie)

Marc Warren: Teatime

Quotes 

• Susan : You were the kind of little boy who looked up doll's dresses.

  Teatime : ...I didn't...!

• Teatime : I'd rather you didn't try any last-minute stuff.

  Death : I AM last-minute stuff.

• Teatime : Do you have a lot of friends, Mr Sydeney?

  Mr. Sideney : [hesitantly]  Quite a few, actually.

  Teatime : I don't have many... Don't seem to have the knack... On the other hand, I don't seem to have any enemies at all.

• [Lord Downey is reviewing a previous assassination contract that Teatime carried out for him] 

  Lord Downey : You nailed Sir George's dog to the ceiling.

  Teatime : I couldn't have it barking while I was working, sir.

  Lord Downey : Some people would have drugged it.

  Teatime : [mystified]  Oh! But I definitely fulfilled the contract. I checked Sir George's breathing with a mirror, as instructed.

  Lord Downey : Apparently his head was several feet from his body at that point.

  Teatime : That was all right, wasn't it, sir?

  Lord Downey : It lacked... elegance.

  Teatime : I thank you, sir. I'm always happy to be corrected. I shall remember that... next time.

• Teatime : It's pronounced Teh-ah-tim-eh, sir.

• Lord Downey : Mr Teatime, you have actually applied yourself to study of ways of killing Death?

  Teatime : Only as a hobby, sir.

  Lord Downey : But then some people might say that he is technically immortal.

  Teatime : Everyone has a weak point, sir.

• [Teatime's spirit rises from his body to meet Death] 

  Death : Mr Teh-ah-tim-eh?

  Teatime : You got it right.

  Death : Of course.

• Teatime : Exhibit B is Banjo. He can talk.