Hogfather (2006 TV Movie)
Peter Holdway: Auditor 1
Quotes
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[Death confronts the Auditors, who have taken the shape of dogs to get to Susan and the Hogfather]
Death : You couldn't resist it in the end? A mistake, I fancy. It gets under your skin, life. Speaking metaphorically, of course. And you see, the more you struggle for every moment, the more alive you stay... which is where I come in, as a matter of fact.
Auditor 1 : [changes to its original shape] You can't do this, there are rules!
[gets turned back into a dog]
Death : Yes. There are rules. But you broke them. How dare you? HOW DARE YOU? And now there remains only one final question. Have you been naughty... or nice?
[the dogs plunge down a cliff]
Death : Ho. Ho. Ho.
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[the Auditors have just commissioned Lord Downey, Master of the Guild of Assassins, to "inhume" the Hogfather]
Lord Downey : He would be difficult to find.
Auditor 1 : You will find persons on any street who can tell you his approximate address.
Lord Downey : Yes, of course, but as you say, they can hardly give a map reference. Even then, how would the... Fat Man be inhumed? A glass of poisoned sherry, perhaps?
Auditor 1 : You misunderstand the nature of employment.
Lord Downey : How do I misunderstand you exactly?
Auditor 1 : We pay. You find the ways and means.
Lord Downey : How can I contact you?
Auditor 1 : [ominously] We will contact you. We know where you are. We know where *everyone* is.
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Auditor 1 : We have no sense of humor.