SpongeBob SquarePants (TV Series)
Dying for Pie/Imitation Krabs (2001)
Tom Kenny: SpongeBob, Gary, Hans, Fish #1, Narrator
Photos
Quotes
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Squidward : I spent the whole day with you doing all kinds of ridiculous things because you were supposed to explode!
SpongeBob SquarePants : You want me to explode?
Squidward : Yes! That's what I've been waiting for!
SpongeBob SquarePants : Uh, okay, I'll try. Nnggg... GARY! YOU ARE GONNA FINISH YOUR DESSERT, AND YOU ARE GONNA LIKE IT!
[laughs]
SpongeBob SquarePants : Now it's your turn.
Squidward : THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT YOU BARNACLE HEAD!
SpongeBob SquarePants : [clapping] Ooh, good one.
Squidward : No! You're supposed to explode into a million pieces!
SpongeBob SquarePants : Why would I do that?
Squidward : Because the pie you ate was a bomb!
SpongeBob SquarePants : What pie?
Squidward : The pie I left on the counter this morning, that I bought from pirates for twenty-five bucks, and I didn't know it was a bomb, and you ate it! THAT pie!
SpongeBob SquarePants : Pie... Oh! You mean this pie!
[takes the pie-bomb out of his pocket]
SpongeBob SquarePants : I was saving it in my pocket, for us to share. Let's eat!
[he trips on a pebble, the pie flies into Squidward's face and explodes]
Squidward : Ow.
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SpongeBob SquarePants : I made you this sweater... Do you love it?
Squidward : It's a little itchy. What's it made out of?
SpongeBob SquarePants : Eyelashes.
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SpongeBob SquarePants : Don't worry, Mr. Krabs. As long as these pants are square, and this sponge is Bob, I will not let you down!
Mr. Krabs : [SpongeBob has hoisted him up] Uh, SpongeBob? Could you let me down?
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Mr. Krabs : Plankton!
Plankton : Krabs!
Mr. Krabs : Plankton!
Plankton : Krabs!
SpongeBob SquarePants : SpongeBob!
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SpongeBob SquarePants : I think I'll just ask you two a couple of questions. Questions only the real Mr. Krabs could answer.
Mr. Krabs : Okay then.
SpongeBob SquarePants : First question: what time does the Krusty Krab open?
Plankton : 9:30 AM.
SpongeBob SquarePants : Right! That's one strike, Mr. Fake.
Mr. Krabs : But...
SpongeBob SquarePants : Uh-uh! I'm running this quiz show, I'll ask the questions. If there's gonna be any "buts", they're gonna be from me. OK, question number two: How much does a Krabby Patty cost?
Mr. Krabs : $2.99!
SpongeBob SquarePants : ...on Wednesday.
Plankton : 99 cents.
SpongeBob SquarePants : Right again! You're starting to look pretty phony right about now. I'd be nervous if I were you. Now, only the really real Mr. Krabs could answer this: if we're discussing the secret formula on the third Wednesday in January and it's not raining outside after we've gargled with vanilla pudding, what do we do?
Mr. Krabs : That's an easy one! Let's see, if it's January, with vanilla pudding, we... uh, pass?
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Squidward : What is the most fun thing you've always wanted to do?
SpongeBob SquarePants : Actually, I keep a list of the most fun things I like to do.
Squidward : Great. Let's see it.
SpongeBob SquarePants : The things that are extra fun are written in red.
Squidward : Everything's in red!
SpongeBob SquarePants : Yeah, I know!
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Mr. Krabs : Just remember the most important rule.
SpongeBob SquarePants : No free napkins?
Mr. Krabs : No! The other most important rule, regarading the secret formula.
SpongeBob SquarePants : Only discuss the secret formula with Mr. Krabs.
Mr. Krabs : Right you are! Just remember that, boy, and everything will be fine.
Squidward : I thought the most important rule was why do today what you can put off 'till tomorrow? Ha ha!
Mr. Krabs : What is today but yesterday's tomorrow?
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Fish : Mmm... these patties sure are delicious! I wonder what's in that secret formula?
[an alarm sounds]
SpongeBob SquarePants : Code twelve! Code twelve!
[he grabs onto the fish's head]
SpongeBob SquarePants : Your disguises can't fool me this time... Plankton!
[he rips the head off. everyone gasps. there's a smaller head underneath]
Fish : Everyone at the Head Enhancement Clinic said nobody would notice!
[runs off crying]
Mr. Krabs : Spongebob! What's the meaning of this?
SpongeBob SquarePants : Sorry, Mr. Krabs. I thought Plankton was trying to get the formula.
Mr. Krabs : That's no reason to rip people's head off, boy!
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Mr. Krabs : [spots Spongebob about to give Plankton the formula] How could you do it Spongebob? Giving me secret formula to this impostor?
Plankton : Don't listen to him Spongebob. Remember: Ravioli, ravioli give me the formuoli
Mr. Krabs : Spongebob no, don't listen to him, I'm the real Mr. Krabs!
Plankton : Don't listen to him, he's obviously a robot.
[smoke comes out of the suit's exhaust pipe]
Mr. Krabs : Well if I were a robot, which I'm not, at least I'm well put together, not some rusted out, steam driven piece of junk!
Plankton : Who are you calling steam driven?
SpongeBob SquarePants : Quiet!
[holds up a hose while breathing heavily and his eyes are bloodshot]
SpongeBob SquarePants : Until I know who the real Mr.Krabs is, nobody moves
[reveals the hose is attatched to a machine dispensing tarter sauce]
SpongeBob SquarePants : nobody gets hurt.
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Plankton : [asking for the secret formula while disguised as Mr. Krabs] Formula time?
SpongeBob SquarePants : Almost
Narrator : Six and a half hours later.
[Plankton uses the robot suit to launch himself out of a cannon]
Plankton : [Spongebob gives him some spaghetti which he dumps into the robot suit] Yum yum, this spaghetti sure is good, belch.
Plankton , SpongeBob SquarePants : [singing] Meatball, meatball, spaghetti underneath, ravioli, ravioli, Great Barrier Reef!
Plankton : Okay let's hear that formula!
SpongeBob SquarePants : Sorry Mr. Krabs no can do.
[Plankton's robot suit's eyes catch on fire]
Plankton : [in a very robotic voice] Whaaaaat?
[cut to Plankton inside the suit]
Plankton : But we did everything you said!, I followed all the rules!, I even ate 105 black licorice jelly beans through a straw!, Now why won't you tell me the formula?
SpongeBob SquarePants : It's your rule, never speak the formula, you told me to keep it in...
[holds up a little bottle with a scroll in it]
SpongeBob SquarePants : this bottle.
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Plankton : [in disguise] Are you SpongeBob SquarePants?
SpongeBob SquarePants : [looking in a mirror] Why, yes. Yes, I am.
Plankton : Then you've just won one million dollars!
[SpongeBob gasps with delight]
Plankton : You just have to answer one question. What is the Krabby Patty secret formula?
[SpongeBob inhales]
Plankton : Yes?
[SpongeBob inhales more]
Plankton : Yes?
[SpongeBob inhales even more]
Plankton : Yes?
SpongeBob SquarePants : [in one breath] The Krabby Patty formula is the sole property of the Krusty Krab and is only to be discussed in part or in whole with its creator, Mr. Krabs. Duplication of this formula is punishable by law. Restrictions apply, results may vary.
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SpongeBob SquarePants : [scrubbing the floor while singing] Scrub a-dub-dub, I love to rub
[Plankton rolls over in his robot suit of Mr. Krabs]
SpongeBob SquarePants : Oh, hey Mr. Krabs just doing a little scrubbing
Plankton : Hello, SpongeBob, it is me, Mr. Krabs.
[smoke comes out of the exhaust pipe]
Plankton : In the flesh.
[exhaust pipe smokes again]
Plankton : Standing right in front of you.
[pipe smokes again]
Plankton : With no one else around.
SpongeBob SquarePants : I can see that Mr. Krabs
Plankton : I thought we might discuss the Krabby Patty secret formula.
[a microphone comes out of the Robot Krabs]
SpongeBob SquarePants : [points at it] Isn't that a microphone?
Plankton : What? Why, yes it is.
[puts the microphone back inside his body]
Plankton : I must get this shirt cleaned. Alright, now tell me the secret formula.
SpongeBob SquarePants : But, sir, we haven't done the secret handshake yet.
Plankton : [offers the suit's hand] Oh yes. Here, let's shake.
SpongeBob SquarePants : [laughs] We don't shake with our hands, remember?
Plankton : Uh, right, why don't you start?
SpongeBob SquarePants : We stand on one foot. Balance a glass of chocolate milk on our heads and sing the Bikini Bottom National Anthem.
SpongeBob SquarePants , Plankton : [singing] Oh, Bikini Bottom, we pledge our hearts to you, as faithful, as deep, as true, as blue, Bikini Bottom, we love you!
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SpongeBob SquarePants : The Krabby Patty formula is the sole property of the Krusty Krab and may only be discussed, in part or in whole, with its creator Mr. Krabs. Duplication of this formula is punishable by law. Restrictions apply. Results may vary.
