- Mary-Kate Burke: Anyway, which houses are giving out the best candy?
- Taylor Donovan: Oh, well, we're not doing that. We're kind of old to be trick-or-treating.
- Ashley Burke: Oh, us, too. We're just trick-or-treating for the less fortunate. You know... candy-less kids!
- Mary-Kate Burke: [to Taylor] So, what are you supposed to be?
- Taylor Donovan: I'm Jack from "Titanic."
- Ashley Burke: Oh, I love it! You know... people tell me I look a lot like Kate Winslet.
- Taylor Donovan: Whatever.
- Mary-Kate Burke: [to Brian] We'll give you all our candy if you switch costumes with us.
- Brian: Uh-uh, I don't play that game!
- Attractive Woman: [to Eddie] I think it's just the sweetest thing that you're taking the girls trick-or-treating.
- Eddie Fairbanks: Please. Children are my life. I mean, plumbing is just an extremely profitable hobby.
- Ashley Burke: Eddie, can we please go now?
- Eddie Fairbanks: Yes, whatever you want, Sunshine. Just give Uncle Eddie a few more minutes here.
- Mary-Kate Burke: Sunshine?
- Ashley Burke: I think this is the first time I'm going to throw up before I eat any candy.
- Brian: [as he's wearing Ashley's Halloween costume] Uh, Mr. Burke? Can I change into something before I go home? My mom already thinks it's weird that I don't want to be in Little League.