- [Sally prepares to cut Buddy's hair]
- Buddy Sorrell: Are you sure you know what you're doin'?
- Sally Rogers: Oh, of course I know what I'm doin'. Givin' haircuts to a lot of people.
- Buddy Sorrell: Name one
- Sally Rogers: Yul Brynner. Hey, Buddy, y'got an awful lot of hair back here. Which one you want cut?
- Rob Petrie: What's so good about ruling the home with an iron hand?
- Sally Rogers: Comes in great for cracking walnuts.
- Buddy Sorrell: This husband and wife stuff - whadda YOU think?
- Sally Rogers: Oh, I'm on Rob's side. I think he's the kind of a husband every woman wants.
- Buddy Sorrell: Yeah, 'cause as a hen you realize he's easy to peck.
- Rob Petrie: If I had a nickel for every time I said no to my wife, today...
- Buddy Sorrell: You'd have change for a dime.
- Sally Rogers: Hey Buddy, did you have a fight with your wife this morning?
- Buddy Sorrell: We never fight in the morning. Pickles don't get up before noon.
- [Rob answers the front door]
- Laura Petrie: [from the kitchen] Who is it, dear?
- Rob Petrie: Nobody important, just the neighborhood smart-aleck.
- Laura Petrie: Oh, hi, Jerry!
- Laura Petrie: You know, you may think of yourself as a brainwashed American male but as far as I'm concerned you're a thoughtful, considerate husband.
- Rob Petrie: Yeah - thoughtful, considerate and declining.