Bronson Pinchot: Balki Bartokomous

Quotes 

• Balki Bartokomous : We can't bump the bibi-babka ditty, it's part and parcel of the point-by-point process of baking bibi-babkas!

  Larry Appleton : I understand it's part and parcel of the point-by-point process of baking bibi-babkas, Balki, buddy, but... we gotta cut some corners. We're talking mass production here.

  Balki Bartokomous : Don't bring religion into this! You can't bake bibi-babkas without belting the bibi-babka ditty! If you drop the damn ditty, you're doomed!

• [Balki had baked "Bibby Bobkas" -- a Myposian pastry and Larry, Jennifer and Mary Anne have just tasted them for the first time.] 

  Larry Appleton : Balki... this cream filling is INCREDIBLE! I mean, these not only taste good, they... they make me FEEL good! Like listening to music! Like looking at great art! I feel... I feel... Taller! Balki, your Bibby Bobkas are so good, I think you should sell them.

  Balki Bartokomous : [through laughter]  Get out of this city! I wouldn't feel right taking your money.

  [Larry shakes his head] 

  Larry Appleton : No, Balki, I don't mean sell them to US. I mean sell them to other PEOPLE. It can be a nice little business venture. You'd make a couple extra bucks and get a lesson in Free Enterprise.

  Balki Bartokomous : ENTERPRISE?! You mean I could meet Captain Kirk and Scotty?

  Balki Bartokomous : [Imitating James Doohan]  I'll have full power in an hour, Captain. But I'll need more dylythium crystals.

  Larry Appleton : No, no, no... No, Balki. That's the STARSHIP Enterprise. FREE Enterprise is the American way of doing business. I'll... I'll tell you what. You whip up a batch of Bibby Bobkas, and tomorrow, I'll take 'em to restaurants and see if anybody's interested.

  Balki Bartokomous : Now, Cousin, Cousin, you don't just "whip up" Bibby Bobkas. I mean, this took me all morning; And I'm the best Bibby Bobka baker on Mypos. Believe me. Baking Bibby Bobkas is a back-breaking business.

  Larry Appleton : I understand, Balki, baking Bibby Bobkas is a back-breaking business. But... you're doing it alone. There are four of US. We'll... we'll all do it together. It'll be like a party.

  Jennifer Lyons Appleton : [smiling with impression]  That's a WONDERFUL idea, Larry!

  Mary Anne Spencer Bartokomous : [likewise]  Yeah. What do you say, Balki?

  Balki Bartokomous : Well, I... I guess we could bake up a batch of Bibby Bobkas and see if anybody buys.

  Larry Appleton : [grinning as he nods]  Beautiful.

• [Larry does a rhumba with Balki] 

  Balki Bartokomous : COUSIN! You are a man repossessed!

  Larry Appleton : And loving it!

• Larry Appleton : Balki, rhumba tempo! We've got to get these bibi-babkas baked!

  Balki Bartokomous : Cousin, it's too fast! And besides, shouldn't I be leading?