- Balki Bartokomous: If Cousin Larry sees you again, he's going to start to put two and four together!
- Larry Appleton: Obviously Jennifer's got a bad case of "the Larrys".
- Balki Bartokomous: Well, of course she does, don't be ridiculous! Are "the Larrys" anything like "the willies"?
- Larry Appleton: Tonight, I'm taking Jennifer out to dinner and I'm going to pull out all the stops!
- Balki Bartokomous: Oh Cousin, are you going to let her order the Double Whopper?
- Larry Appleton: Better! Tonight I am taking her to a restaurant with waiters!
- Balki Bartokomous: [upset] You're taking waiters and you're not taking me?
- Larry Appleton: I'll take you next time.
- Larry Appleton: Why would you do that? It's not my birthday! It's not Christmas! Why would you buy this for me?
- Balki Bartokomous: Why would I buy this for you? Why would your best friend buy you a present? What am I... the first best friend you've ever had?
- Larry Appleton: [laughs and raises his hand as if to dismiss the idea]
- Balki Bartokomous: Am I the first best friend you ever had?
- Larry Appleton: [laughs again, even less convincingly]
- Balki Bartokomous: [somewhat shocked] I *am* the first best friend you've ever had!