- Dr. Zoidberg: There you are, good as new. Except for your dorsal fin. I'm afraid we couldn't find it after the crash.
- Fry: Can I live without it?
- Dr. Zoidberg: If you call that living.
- Dr. Zoidberg: I'm afraid your body was badly damaged in the crash.
- Fry: How badly?
- Dr. Zoidberg: That's it over there.
- Fry: I'm doing my job, there's Amy. I spend a few hours selecting a candy from the machine, there's Amy. I wake up after sleeping with Amy, there's Amy.
- Mechanic: I installed shock absorbing bumpers on your ass to minimize the chance of catastrofic butt failure.
- Bender: You, sir, have defaced a national treasure! I demand that you restore my buttocks to their former glory.
- Mechanic: Very well, but sooner or later, that ass is going to blow. And when it does, I pray you're not mooning someone you care about.
- Bender: Wait. You mean people will pay good money for romance? Hmm. I think I have a scheme so deviously clever that I -
- [cut to a judge banging his gavel]
- Judge: $500 and time served.
- Bender: [Bender all of a sudden has a gold tooth] Stupid anti-pimping laws. Well, pay the man!
- Fembot: Bender, honey, we love you.
- Bender: Shut up, baby, I know it!
- Bender: Congratulations, Fry, you snagged the perfect girlfriend. Amy's rich, she's probably got other characteristics...
- Leela: Bender! Romance isn't about money.
- Bender: Oh, so it's just coincidence that Zoidberg here is desperately poor AND miserably lonely? Puh-lease!
- Leela: For your information, it's because he's hideous.
- Dr. Zoidberg: [Zoidberg sighs] Awww.
- Victor: Hello, my name is Victor, and I know many things about the art of unloading fine cars on beautiful women.
- Fry: Tell me something. You have all this money. Why do you always dress like you're doing your laundry?
- Amy Wong: I guess it's because my parents are always telling me to act more lady-like. As though.
- Fry: I've been there. My folks were always on me to groom myself and wear underpants. What am I, the Pope?
- Amy Wong: And if you were, they would just be all, "Straighten your pope hat. Put on your good vestments."
- Hermes Conrad: Fry, Amy, put your pants on. I need to get a stapler.
- Dr. Zoidberg: Stop! Stop! If you interrupt the mating dance, the male will become enraged and maul us with his fearsome gonad!