The Simpsons (TV Series)

Homer Goes to College (1993)

Julie Kavner: Marge Simpson

Quotes 

• Bart Simpson : Well, Pop, what are you gonna do?

  Homer Simpson : Something I should have done a long time ago!

  [long pause] 

  Marge Simpson : You don't know, do you?

  Homer Simpson : No ma'am.

• Bart Simpson : Dad, start digging some nerd holes!

  Lisa Simpson : It's bad enough they put their retainers in the dishwasher; can't we do something?

  Homer Simpson : Look, I'm sure we can work something out where we can all live in harmony, right, Marge?

  Marge Simpson : No, I want those geeks outta my house!

• Marge Simpson : Homey, here the responses from the colleges you applied to.

  Homer Simpson : D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! Whoo-hoo! A flyer for a hardware store! D'oh!

• [as the nerds move into the Simpson home] 

  Marge Simpson : Mmm...

  Homer : Marge, they don't anywhere else to stay. And they're geniuses! They'll solve all our problems! They'll elevate us to the status of kings on earth!

  Benjamin : Mr. Simpson, we all have nosebleeds.

  Marge Simpson : Oh, for the love of...!

• [Homer has made up the bedroom to look like a stereotypical college bedroom, including making a bookcase with six cinder blocks] 

  Marge Simpson : Homer, we have a perfectly good bookcase.

  Homer Simpson : Yeah, but this is what they're doing on campus. Besides, it isn't costing us. I swiped the cinder blocks from a construction site.

  [meanwhile, at a construction site with a sign reading "FUTURE SITE OF CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL", a worker sadly approaches the construction manager] 

  Construction Worker : Sir, six cinder blocks are missin'.

  Construction Manager : [mournfully rolls up the blueprints]  There'll be no hospital then; I'll tell the children.