Andy Richter: Andy Richter

Quotes 

• Mr. Pickering : You only want to go to France for the lenient sex laws. Although, in your case, that just means you can do more things to yourself.

  Andy : That is not why I want to go. I'm a writer. I've always wanted to visit the country of Camus, Sartre, Foucault.

  [pronounced 'foo-koh'] 

  Mr. Pickering : What did you say to me?

  Andy : You heard me.

• Andy : [narrating]  It's raining. That's all you need to know so far.

  Byron Togler : This is the wettest I've ever been.

  Andy : You know, I've always wanted to hear someone say that. But not you.

  Keith Richards : Hi, fellows.

  Andy : How come you're not wet?

  Keith Richards : I don't believe in getting wet.

  Byron Togler : How come you're so tanned?

  Keith Richards : I believe in getting tanned.

• Andy : [narrating]  That's the last straw. Nobody mocks the way I mock the French. I'm not gonna lay down and let Byron steal my trip from me. One thing about us Richters: we don't lie down and let people steal trips from us. It's really like the only thing we're proud of.

• Andy : Jessica, I can take Bootsy to the groomers tomorrow, I can do it during my lunchbreak.

  Byron Togler : Oh that's perfect, because I was gonna take Jessica to lunch tomorrow.

  Andy : Well that works out great because I was gonna buy Jessica some pants to wear to lunch tomorrow!

• Andy : [narrating]  Here I was, facing a problem as old as civilization itself. How to catch a drunk cat in the ceiling so I can go to France.

• Andy : Stop trying to steal my trip from me!

  Byron Togler : I'm not trying to steal your trip from you.

  Andy : Oh yeah! Well, then what was all that "soouu soouu soouu" and "fouu fouu fouu" and "bliblly bibbly" stuff?

  Byron Togler : [sarcastic]  Oh, Andy! That's good! When you give your presentation in France, you should open with that, because if there's anything the French LOVE, it's when you mock their language!