The Simpsons (TV Series)
Simpsons Christmas Stories (2005)
Dan Castellaneta: Homer Simpson, Joseph, Abraham Simpson, Battery, Matthew, John Glenn
Photos
Quotes
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Homer Simpson : [as Joseph] A pregnant virgin? That's every man's worst nightmare!
Lisa Simpson : [as the herald angel] Fear not, Mary. You are full of grace.
Homer Simpson : That's not all she's full of.
Lisa Simpson : Quiet, you.
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Homer Simpson : And did you know that baby Jesus grew up to be... Jesus?
[Crowd murmurs]
Homer Simpson : Yeah. Weird, isn't it?
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Homer Simpson : Wine into water? Who could have performed such a cruel miracle?
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Homer Simpson : [singing to the music from The Nutcracker] I need a present for my wife / Or I'll have no sex for life / Diamond ring, a vase by Ming / Some kind of useful kitchen thing / I need a store I can break into / Or a place run by a Hindu
Apu : The Christmas rush has cleaned me out / I just have jerky made of trout
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Grampa : We'll get you up and running again or my name isn't Young Grampa Simpson.
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Grampa : [During World War II] I was flying Navy planes in the South Pacific with my older brother, Cyrus.
Lisa Simpson : Your brother? You've never mentioned him before.
Grampa : And I never will again!
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[Flashback to WWII]
Cyrus Simpson : Kamikaze!
Grampa : Well, I usually don't drink before lunch... Holy smokes! The sky's full of those planes that crash into the ships!