- Mary Richards: Have you had dinner?
- Bess Lindstrom: Yes, Phyllis burned it.
- Mary Richards: Aw, I'm sorry.
- Bess Lindstrom: Why? You didn't burn it.
- Mary Richards: Well, no. But it's just that when you try to fix something and then it doesn't turn out right it's kinda disappointing.
- Bess Lindstrom: Well, it doesn't bother Phyllis.
- Mary Richards: Do you always call your mother Phyllis?
- Mary Richards: It's her name!
- Lou Grant: Who's the kid?
- Mary Richards: Oh. Well, that's kind of a long story.
- Lou Grant: How can it be a long story? I say 'Who's the kid', you say 'Sally Jones'. Who's the kid?
- Mary Richards: Bess.
- Lou Grant: That wasn't too long.
- Lou Grant: I'd like to cuss right now because that kid's out there. But I can't cuss because that kid's out there. Do I make myself clear?
- Mary Richards: I think so. You'd like to cuss, is that it?
- Ted Baxter: Whatever happened to the good old days when they had wars in England?
- Murray Slaughter: You'd find a way to mispronounce London.
- Mary Richards: [to Ted Baxter] Mr. Grant asked me to remind you it's Richard Milhous Nixon, not mill horse.