Family Guy (TV Series)

Petergeist (2006)

Seth MacFarlane: Peter Griffin, Brian Griffin, Stewie Griffin, Glenn Quagmire, Tom Tucker, David James Elliott, Don Knotts, Old Attendees, Gay Mailbox, Man in High Trouser #1, Dick Cheney, Emcee

Photos 

Quotes 

• Tom Tucker : A bit of breaking news. A local family is forced out of their home by ghosts. Who are they gonna call?

  Diane Simmons : [sighs]  Ghostbusters, Tom.

  Tom Tucker : No, Diane. Their insurance company. That's just stupid what you said.

• Peter Griffin : Hey Lois, get ready to laugh, get ready to laugh.

  [pops head out of Meg's butt] 

  Peter Griffin : Gee, must've taken a wrong turn at Albuquerque!

  [laughs] 

• Stewie Griffin : [speaking from TV]  Mommy?

  Lois Griffin : Stewie? Where are you?

  Stewie Griffin : Look behind you, you stupid cow!

• Lois Griffin : Stewie, if you can hear me, head for Meg's butt!

  Stewie Griffin : [From the TV]  Have you lost your mind?

• [the Griffins escape to the family car from the poltergeist] 

  Lois Griffin : Wait a minute, where's Meg?

  Brian Griffin : I don't know.

  Stewie Griffin : I didn't see her.

  Chris Griffin : Yeah, I kinda thought you guys would attend to that.

  Lois Griffin : Peter, you got to go back and get her!

  Peter Griffin : Oh, yeah, right, like I'm going back for Meg.

  Lois Griffin : Peter!

  Peter Griffin : Lois, damn it, we both agreed, remember? If we could only save two, we leave Meg.

  Lois Griffin : I know, but...

  Meg Griffin : [Meg enters car, furious]  YOU BASTARD! HOW COULD YOU LEAVE ME IN THERE?

  Peter Griffin : Okay, see? It resolved itself.

• Home Supply Employee : Can I help you?

  Peter Griffin : yeah, I hate my neighbor and I want to build something crazy out of spite.

  Home Supply Employee : well I'll take you to our one up-man-ship aisle

• Lois Griffin : Where's Meg?

  Stewie Griffin : I don't know. I didn't see her.

  Stewie Griffin : Yeah, I kind of thought you guys would attend to that.

  Lois Griffin : Peter, you got to go back and get her.

  Peter Griffin : Oh, yeah, right, like I'm going back for Meg.

• Sarah MacKenzie : [first lines, Peter watches an episode of JAG]  Harm, I found that evidence we need. Now we can finally clear that Chief Petty Officer of all charges. Oh, what's the point? Does anybody even watch this show?

  Harmon Rabb, Jr. : Well, yeah, old people. I mean, they really don't pay attention. They just like the noise and the company.

  [smiles and waves to the camera] 

  Harmon Rabb, Jr. : Hey, how ya' doin'? How's that hip doin' there? Remember the forties?

• [Stewie is being pulled into a portal in his bedroom] 

  Stewie Griffin : I haven't seen anything suck this much since...

  [as he's being pulled through the portal] 

  Stewie Griffin : I HEART HUCKABEES!