Meg Griffin: [Peter uses the new TiVo] Dad, what are you doing?
Peter Griffin: Oh, I'm fast-forwarding through these pesky TV shows so I can get to the commercials.
Wilford Brimley: Hi, I'm Wilford Brimley, and I have diabetes. It hurts me to pee and it causes me to be short with my family. I can't sleep at night. The other day, I stubbed my toe and took it out on the dog. And two weeks ago, I ran out of vanilla ice cream and struck my wife. And then I find out my wife's been dead for six years. Who the hell did I hit?