Psych (TV Series)

Spellingg Bee (2006)

Dulé Hill: Burton Guster

Quotes 

• Gus : Shawn, this misplaced malevolence you have for the spelling bee is getting monotonous. Stop hating on the Bee. I'm sorry, ma'am; I do apologize for his inappropriate virulence.

  Shawn Spencer : Why are you using all these big ass words all the sudden?

  Gus : I'm not doing that. That's preposterous.

• Shawn Spencer : Give me a word.

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : A word?

  Shawn Spencer : Yeah. Something hard, but something you can spell.

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : I can spell anything!

  Shawn Spencer : Except "aggiornamento".

• Gus : He's been the Spellmaster for 14 years; he's a legend.

  Shawn Spencer : Wow, he sits up there all by himself in a fancy box. What is he, the Phantom of the Opera?

• Shawn Spencer : [Shawn yells as he hits his leg on a desk] 

  Gus : Shh!

  Shawn Spencer : I'm so sorry if my agonizing pain is inconveniencing you.

• Burton 'Gus' Guster : [on the spelling bee]  And it teaches grace under pressure. Poise. Dignity.

  Shawn Spencer : All things you can get at a hot dog eating competition, plus... hot dogs.

• Burton 'Gus' Guster : See, the problem is that butyraceous is clearly a round one word.

  Shawn Spencer : Oh God, stop talking! I'd like to pretend we still have things in common, Gus.

• [having locked out the real Spellmaster, Shawn is forced to take over his role] 

  Shawn Spencer : Banana.

  Speller 118 : Can you repeat that?

  Shawn Spencer : Yes. Ba-NA-na.

  Gus : [whispering]  "Banana", Shawn? It's the third round.

  Shawn Spencer : [whispering]  You could have helped me.

  Gus : [whispering]  This is a dead end, Shawn. We're walking.

  [they start to leave the booth] 

  Speller 118 : Definition, please.

  Shawn Spencer : [to himself]  What...?

  Shawn Spencer : [into the microphone]  A yellow fruit. Also, a kind of pudding. A delicious pudding.

  Speller 118 : Sentence, please.

  Shawn Spencer : [annoyed]  Anna Banana would like to hear "Venus" by Bananarama. Banana!

  Speller 118 : B-A-N-A-N-A. Banana.

• Gus : Don't eat it!

  Shawn Spencer : Do I look like an idiot?

  [bags the food] 

  Gus : What, you're taking some to go?

  Shawn Spencer : Yes, for the road. In case later on I get hungry enough to eat something that might be poisoned!

• Burton 'Gus' Guster : You don't smell that?

  Shawn Spencer : I don't smell anything.

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : That's because you don't have the Super Smeller!

  Shawn Spencer : Gus, you have got to stop calling your nose the "Super Smeller." If you want to nickname a body part, nickname your butt, man! Call it the "Tightbouncer" or the "Hexagon." Ladies are going to dig that, I'm telling you.

• Burton 'Gus' Guster : For your information, Shawn, I watch the SBC's every year.

  Shawn Spencer : Okay, for your sake and mine, stop giving the Spelling Bee hip little nicknames!

• Burton 'Gus' Guster : You're using his grocery list!

  Shawn Spencer : You refused to help me. Now I've got to give them something else.

  [into the microphone] 

  Shawn Spencer : Mitchum.

  Speller : "Mitchum"?

  Shawn Spencer : Yes. When I go to Albertson's, I need to buy some Mitchum Ice Blast... and bananas.

• Gus : Do you know how to spell any of these words?

  Shawn Spencer : Proudly, I have never heard of any of these words. I file these words under "Things to say when I want to be ridiculed or kicked out of bed."

• Burton 'Gus' Guster : [on the spelling bee]  It's on Sports Cal2, for your information. And it's hosted by Bud Collins.

  Shawn Spencer : Really? Did they bump the car washing championships for this? And is it over soon, because I'd like to get back to the wood carving finals.

• Gus : [after Shawn locks the Spellmaster out of the building while he's smoking]  You can't do that to him!

  Shawn Spencer : Gus, he has to learn some time that smoking is bad for him.

• Gus : [about the Spelling Bee]  I tried to get tickets, but you've got to know somebody.

  Shawn Spencer : Somebody lame.

• Gus : [about the Spelling Bee]  This thing has been sold out for weeks!

  Shawn Spencer : I can see why. It moves so fast. It's like hockey with words.