Last of the Summer Wine (TV Series)
How to Remove a Cousin (2006)
Keith Clifford: Billy
Photos
Quotes
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[first lines]
Billy : Hey, do you think Alexander the Great used to have a pack lunch?
Clegg : Oh, you can't go conquering without a pack lunch. They couldn't drop in to a Jumbo Burger.
Truly : History never gets down to these revealing details, like, uh... did the man have a painful corn, so he had to wear sandals?
Alvin : He'd have a corn specialist amongst his retinue, and an ear, nose and throat guy.
Billy : He died young, though, didn't he?
Truly : Well, maybe his corn went septic.
Clegg : Well, I expect if they were riding all day they probably got their corns somewhere else.
Billy : Stands to reason he'd have a pack lunch. I'll bet his mother said, "You can't go conquering the known world on an empty stomach."
Truly : Aye. "Keep off those oily foreign foods," she said. "Eat your greens."
Alvin : "And don't let me catch you up those mountains without a woolly vest."
Clegg : Do you think that's why he left home?
Billy : Probably.