Two and a Half Men (TV Series)
Working for Caligula (2006)
Jon Cryer: Alan Harper
Photos
Quotes
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Alan Harper : Rose?
Rose : Yes, sweetie?
Alan Harper : You're a stalker.
Rose : I prefer to be called "boundary challenged".
Alan Harper : Just go away.
Rose : Go away?
[chuckles]
Rose : Alan, I'm a stalker.
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Alan Harper : [Alan's lying in bed. There's a knock on the door. Alan looks up] God, what plague have you set upon me now?
Evelyn : Alan, it's Mommy.
Alan Harper : Good one!
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Charlie Harper : I'll go back upstairs, you come knock on my door again and say you want to talk to me. Only this time, I'll kill you!
Alan Harper : Oh, come on! You're all I have left in this world! I need you Charlie!
Charlie Harper : Anybody here know a "Charlie"?
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Alan Harper : [Opening Charlie's bedroom door] Charlie? Are you in here?
Charlie Harper : [In bed with an attractive woman named Tina] Hey, Alan! Long time, no see!
[to Tina]
Charlie Harper : Say hello to my brother, Alan.
Tina : [Waving] Hi, Alan!
Cindy : [Suddenly popping up from under the sheets] Hi, Alan!
Marie : [Suddenly appearing from the bathroom and joining Charlie in bed] Hi, Alan!
Alan Harper : Umm... I'm interrupting?
Charlie Harper : Gee, you think?
Alan Harper : I really need to talk to you. Can you come downstairs?
Charlie Harper : Sure, give me...
[Looks around at the three girls in bed with him]
Charlie Harper : An hour and a half!
Alan Harper : An hour and a half?
Charlie Harper : I know it's a little rushed, but we're on a tight schedule here. Tina's got homework, Cindy's gotta meet her fiancé and Marie... Well, Marie's on the clock!
Alan Harper : You already had two women in bed and you felt the need to call a professional?
Charlie Harper : Better safe than sorry!