How I Met Your Mother (TV Series)

Where Were We? (2006)

Neil Patrick Harris: Barney Stinson

Quotes 

• Barney Stinson : When I get sad, I stop being sad, and be AWESOME instead. True story

• Barney Stinson : For the first time, ever, the three of us are single at the same time. I've dreamed about this day, boys, and it's going to be *legendary*. Together, we will own this city. Anytime a girl wants to get back at her ex-boyfriends, we'll be there. Anytime a girl wants to solve her father issues through promiscuity and binge drinking, *we will be* there. Anytime a bachelorette party drives through the city in a limo, sticking their heads out the sunroof, shouting, "What's up, New York," *we* will be what is up New York.

• Robin Scherbatsky : See? This is the problem with guys, you don't know how to deal with heartbreak!

  Barney Stinson : Oh, what's your prescription Dr Estrogen? Eat Haagen-Dazs and watch Love Actually 'til your period sync up?

  Robin Scherbatsky : [Cut to a shooting-range, Robin is shooting]  Yeah, that's the stuff.

• Ted Mosby : [On the phone]  Oh hey, where are you guys?

  Barney Stinson : We're in a fundraiser, helping young women raise money for community college.

  Ted Mosby : Stripclub... nice.

• Barney Stinson : So he stays home all the time not getting laid? No, see, that's what you do when you have a fiancée. He should be out here celebrating! He's free! He got that red-headed tumor removed.

  Ted Mosby : You should write and illustrate children's books.

• Robin Scherbatsky : Ted, we just started dating, we agreed we don't want to move too fast, and yet, somehow, we have a baby! He can't feed himself, he cries a lot, he keeps us up all night...

  Barney Stinson : Have you tried breastfeeding? Nailed it!

• Barney Stinson : [At a strip club]  Do you know why you're not over Lily yet? It's 'cause you can still picture her naked. You can't get over a woman until you can no longer picture her boobs. It's a scientific fact. The average male brain can only store a finite number of boob images, or BPEGs and your hard drive's filled to capacity with Lily's.

  Marshall Eriksen : There are a lot of them.

  Barney Stinson : They won't go away until you overwrite them with images of other women's boobs. Now, this journey may take as many as a million boobs so we begin here tonight my friend. Two at the time. Those count as four.

• Barney : When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story.

• Barney Stinson : Whenever I'm sad, I just stop being sad and be awesome instead... . True Story

• Barney : Whenever I'm sad, I just stop being sad and be awesome instead... . True Story