How I Met Your Mother (TV Series)

Where Were We? (2006)

Jason Segel: Marshall Eriksen

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ted Mosby : You hungry?

  Marshall Eriksen : What's the point? I could eat some food... it's just gonna leave me.

  Ted Mosby : Well, at least in that scenario, you get to do the dumping.

• Marshall Eriksen : [about Lily]  I should call her

  Ted Mosby : No, no, if you call her when she asks you not to, you're just gonna look weak and you're gonna regret it. Now listen, whenever you feel like calling her, you come find me first... and I will punch you in the face.

  Marshall Eriksen : You're a good friend Ted

• Marshall Eriksen : [about Lily]  Well, I called her. And get this, she changed her number. Well like I'm gonna stalk her or something? Like she's so special? Like she's the only Lily Aldrin out there? 'Cause there are four others in the San Francisco area alone, and they all seem a lot better than her, based on the brief conversations I had with them!

• Marshall Eriksen : [Reading Lily's credit card bill]  August 5, one charge - tickets. To what? George Clinton and the P-Funk All Stars. August 10, one charge, Tennis Emporium. August 18, two charges. Mario's bistro and - get this - Pet Palace. You guys see what it means right?

  Lily Aldrin : [Marshall's imagination]  Wow, Mario's bistro. What a perfect place to whore around.

  George Clinton : Only the best for my little Lily Pad.

  Lily Aldrin : Oh funk legend George Clinton, I am so glad you spotted me at your concert an drag me on stage to dance with you Courtney Cox style.

  George Clinton : I am so glad you agreed to play tennis with me.

  Lily Aldrin : Oh you know, Marshall tried to get me to play tennis for nine years but I didn't do it because I never truly loved him.

  George Clinton : I got you a gift.

  Lily Aldrin : Oh! A ferret. I'll buy it some food next door at the Pet Palace. I've always wanted one, but Marshall have this secret phobia of ferrets.

  George Clinton : I bet that's something he made you promise to tell nobody.

  Lily Aldrin : It was! Oh, I love you funk legend George Clinton.

  George Clinton : I love you too, Lily. That's right Marshall, she's all mine. Now I'm gonna let her play with my hair.

• Ted Mosby : It's Sunday! It's Pancakes day!

  Marshall Eriksen : Lily always made the pancakes. God I loved her pancakes. So soft. So warm. So perfectly shaped.

  Ted Mosby : Are we still talking about her pancakes?... C'mon, you gotta eat something. What can I get you?

  Marshall Eriksen : Beer.

  Ted Mosby : No, that's what you had for dinner!

  Marshall Eriksen : Fine! I'll just have leftovers.

  [Pulls half-drunk beer out of couch] 

• Barney Stinson : [At a strip club]  Do you know why you're not over Lily yet? It's 'cause you can still picture her naked. You can't get over a woman until you can no longer picture her boobs. It's a scientific fact. The average male brain can only store a finite number of boob images, or BPEGs and your hard drive's filled to capacity with Lily's.

  Marshall Eriksen : There are a lot of them.

  Barney Stinson : They won't go away until you overwrite them with images of other women's boobs. Now, this journey may take as many as a million boobs so we begin here tonight my friend. Two at the time. Those count as four.