How I Met Your Mother (TV Series)

Aldrin Justice (2006)

Alyson Hannigan: Lily Aldrin

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ted Mosby : [after Lily takes Hammond Druthers' baseball]  Give him his ball back right now. People are going to get fired!

  Lily Aldrin : No, they're not. It's just a tantrum, Ted. I saw this in kindergarten all the time.

  Ted Mosby : This isn't kindergarten. Mr Druthers is an adult, and he wants his ball back.

  Lily Aldrin : All right, I'll give it back if you show him your plans.

  Ted Mosby : No. You'll give it back or you're fired

  Lily Aldrin : I'm sorry, Ted. I just can't do that.

  Ted Mosby : Then you're fired.

  Lily Aldrin : Fine. Here's the ball. At least you have one now.

• Ted Mosby : Lily, this is Mr. Druthers, the head architect on the project. Lily's going to be our new office assistant.

  Hammond Druthers : Ah.

  Lily Aldrin : Nice to meet you.

  Hammond Druthers : Isn't it?

• Lily Aldrin : Mr. Druthers asked if you were making the trees or waiting for them to sprout on their own. Then he stared at me until I laughed.

• Ted Mosby : Hey, thanks for telling me to stand up to Druthers and pitch my idea. Seriously, none of this would have happened if it weren't for you.

  Lily Aldrin : Oh. You know what, Ted? That was very nice. You have earned these screws back.

  [Gives him a handful of screws] 

  Lily Aldrin : Don't sit in your desk chair until you've put them back in.

• Robin Scherbatsky : [about Lily taking things from people who act mean]  Yeah. It's her own personal form of justice. Did you tell him about that time at the Gap?

  Lily Aldrin : Oh, that was a good one. This sales guy was rude to Robin, so I took a pair of khakis.

  Robin Scherbatsky : [to Ted]  I gave them to you for your birthday.

  Ted Mosby : So I've been walking around in stolen khakis?

  Lily Aldrin : I prefer to call them "justice khakis."

  Ted Mosby : That's not justice. It's shoplifting, and it's a crime.

  Lily Aldrin : So is being mean.

• Hammond Druthers : Now, as most of you know, my Pete Rose, Pete Rose, Pete Rose baseball has been stolen. Well, I just found this note.

  [Reads] 

  Hammond Druthers : "Dear Mr. Druthers,I, your baseball, am leaving. Maybe, if you start being nice, I'll come back. If not, other things in your office may follow my lead. In fact, I overheard your iPod talking, and he may shuffle off at any minute." Normally, I would scream at everyone until my voice goes, but maybe that's the wrong reaction here.

  Lily Aldrin : [to Ted]  Interesting

  Hammond Druthers : Instead, I'm giving my baseball until the end of the day to decide he's homesick, or, tomorrow morning, I'll begin firing three people an hour. And, if the thief doesn't believe me, well, then you are gambling more than Pete Rose - major league baseball's all-time hit leader, a man whose absence from the hall of fame is a travesty to the entire sports world - ever "allegedly" did!