How I Met Your Mother (TV Series)

World's Greatest Couple (2006)

Josh Radnor: Ted Mosby

Quotes 

• Ted Mosby : Okay, we HAVE to get Lily out of that apartment. Her roommate is a raccoon.

  Robin Scherbatsky : I'd offer her my place, but I have dogs and she's allergic.

  Ted Mosby : Dogs? I live with her ex-boyfriend. I think she's more allergic to that.

  Robin Scherbatsky : What about your place, Barney? I know it's shrouded in mystery, but it's gotta have a couch.

  Barney Stinson : The Fortress of Barnitude? No way.

  Robin Scherbatsky : Oh come on. She's desperate.

  Barney Stinson : Mmm, normally a prerequisite for the women I bring home, but pass.

• Marshall Eriksen : This is what I miss about being in a couple. I always had someone to go to concerts with, or farmer's market, or brunch. God, I miss brunch!

  Ted Mosby : Well, I guess you could - well, you could try going to brunch alone.

  Marshall Eriksen : Oh, you don't think I've tried?

  Marshall Eriksen : [FLASHBACK]  Table for one.

  Host : One... Couple?

  Marshall Eriksen : Um, no, just me.

  Host : Really? For brunch?

  Marshall Eriksen : You're right. Who am I kidding?

  [Leaves restaurant. End of Flashback] 

  Robin Scherbatsky : Oh, the Popover Pantry! That place is great. Can we go get brunch tomorrow?

  Ted Mosby : Of course, sweetie.

  Marshall Eriksen : Can I go with you guys?

  Ted Mosby : Really? For brunch?

• Ted Mosby : Is that a toilet in your kitchen?

  Ted Mosby : Or a stove in your bathroom?

  Lily Aldrin : Oh... that's not just a stove. That's a stoveinkerator! A combination of a stove, oven, sink and refrigerator. Stoveinkerator! Isn't that futuristic?

  Ted Mosby : God, I hope not.

• Ted Mosby : [Marshall and Brad are going to a musical together]  Mamma mia?

  Marshall Eriksen : Mamma mia!. You know what? It's supposed to be a great musical, okay? It won all sorts of Tonies and stuff.

  Ted Mosby : No, totally. It sounds like a really, really fun, exciting, third date.

  Robin Scherbatsky : Ooh, third date. You know what that means.

  Marshall Eriksen : It is not a date,okay! It's just two bros taking in a Broadway show.

  Ted Mosby : You bros going to get dinner beforehand?

  Marshall Eriksen : We might grab a steak, yeah.

  Ted Mosby : Where at?

  Marshall Eriksen : [Embarrassed]  Café l'amour.

  [Ted and Robin laugh] 

  Marshall Eriksen : Brad says the food is really good there, okay?

  Robin Scherbatsky : Sounds like Brad's got quite the night planned out. You better bring your "A" game. That means no granny panties.

  Marshall Eriksen : All right, you know what? You two are just threatened because I'm a single guy moving in on your couples' stuff. Well, guess what? It's my territory now. I'm peeing all over brunches, fancy dinners and musicals. That's right. Brad and I are taking back Broadway.

• Marshall Eriksen : Why can't two guys who are friends go to brunch?

  Ted Mosby : Because brunch is kind of...

  Robin Scherbatsky : ...Girlie.

  Marshall Eriksen : Girlie? Breakfast isn't girlie, lunch isn't girlie, what makes brunch girlie?

  Ted Mosby : I don't know... nothing girlie about a horse, nothing girlie about a horn... but put them together and you get a unicorn.

• Ted Mosby : [after hearing Brad invited Marshall to a wedding]  Okay, that's not too bad. Two single guys on the prowl. It'll be like "Wedding crashers".

  Robin Scherbatsky : Just keep Brad away from the bouquet.