How I Met Your Mother (TV Series)

Atlantic City (2006)

Josh Radnor: Ted Mosby

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Quotes 

• Narrator : [about the game Shing Hasabu Shing]  Now, I had been to a lot of casinos before that night, and I've been to a lot of casinos since, but in all that time I've never seen a game quite like this one. To this day, I have no idea how it was played. But luckily, Barney did.

  Lily Aldrin : Do you understand what's happening?

  Ted Mosby : Not a clue.

  Robin Scherbatsky : Do you think he's winning?

  Ted Mosby : I don't even know if he's playing.

  Marshall Eriksen : Wait, I get it. I understand this game.

  Ted Mosby : No, you don't.

  Marshall Eriksen : I totally understand the game, Theodore. Barney, split your tiles. You can triple your money if you find the jellybean.

  Barney Stinson : Marshall, please. Don't you think I know what I'm... My God, you're right.

• Marshall Eriksen : I don't get it. Hundreds of people get married in Atlantic City all the time.

  Registrar : Yes, but not to elope. They come for the white, sandy beaches, world-class amenities and Riviera-like ambience.

  Lily Aldrin : Are you kidding me? Have you been outside?

  Ted Mosby : There is half a rotting orca whale not ten feet from our room.

• Barney Stinson : All right, let's talk bachelor party. Are we thinking full-on strip club, or should we rent a room and have a private toy show?

  Ted Mosby : What did you just say?

  Marshall Eriksen : Barney, no.

  Barney Stinson : Marshall, I'm your best man.

  Marshall Eriksen : You're not my best man.

  Ted Mosby : Right here.

  Barney Stinson : And as your best man, I have to throw you a bachelor party. That's part of being a best friend.

  Marshall Eriksen : You're not my best friend.

  Ted Mosby : Right here.

• Barney Stinson : [after Barney reveals to the judge that Marshall and Lily broke up over the summer]  What? We're under oath.

  Ted Mosby : No, we're not.

  Barney Stinson : Yeah, we are. He's a judge.

  Ted Mosby : Wh - Did we take an oath? Do you even know what an oath is?

  Barney Stinson : Uh, yeah. Courthouse. Oath. We're under it.