How I Met Your Mother (TV Series)

Slap Bet (2006)

Jason Segel: Marshall Eriksen

Photos 

Quotes 

• Marshall : [Looking at Computer]  This is the 90s, why does it look like 1986?

  Robin Scherbatsky : The 80s didn't come to Canada til like '93.

• Marshall : It looks like someone suffered from premature slapulation.

• Barney : [after being slapped in the face by Marshall]  Ow. Your hand is monstrous.

  Marshall : Well, what did you expect, you've seen my penis.

• Barney : Your tomb stone will read "Lily Aldrin: Caring wife, Loving friend and Slap Bet Commissioner."

  Marshall : And on Barney's grave, it'll read: "Got slapped so hard by Marshall, he died."

• Marshall : [after slapping Barney]  That's one!

• Ted Mosby : Wha... I don't get it! Why won't Robin tell me why she hates malls?

  Barney : Ted, you should be happy Robin has a secret. The more you learn about a person, the better chance you have of hitting the fatal "Ohhh..." moment.

  Marshall : The "Ohhh..." moment?

  Barney : Yeah. That moment when you find out that one detail about a person that is going to be a deal-breaker.

  [Flashback to Barney with different girls] 

  Girl #1 : It's a promise ring. I made a pact with God to stay a virgin till I'm married.

  Barney : Ohhhh...

  Girl #2 : I don't have an eating disorder, it's just when I put food in my mouth, I chew it and then I spit it out!

  Barney : Ohhhh...

  Girl #3 : I just turned 30.

  Barney : Ohhhhhh...

  Barney : [Back to present]  So trust me, you want to postpone knowing anything about each other for as long as possible

  Ted Mosby : Hmm... I disagree. If there's some potential "Ohhh..." moment, I wanna know about it right away. I mean, what's the alternative?

  [Flash to Robin and Ted at the altar] 

  Reverend Rob : I now pronounce you man and wife.

  Ted Mosby : I love you.

  Robin Scherbatsky : I used to be a dude.

  Ted Mosby : Ohhhhhh...

• Barney : I can think of tons of things there's no way Marshall told you

  Lily : Try me.

  Barney : Do you know about the time the Marshall was in Trenton?

  Lily : Doggie ate his pants. Yep.

  Barney : Bill's bachelor party in Memphis.

  Lily : Oh, when they had to pump out all the nickels from his stomach?

  Barney : Wow. Okay. Seattle.

  Lily : Trick question, Marshall's never been to the Pacific Northwest because he's afraid of Sasquatch.

  Barney : Damn.

  Marshall : I'm not afraid of Sasquatch. I just think we should all be on alert.