That Mitchell and Webb Look (TV Series)

Episode #1.1 (2006)

Robert Webb: Peter DeCoursey, Sir Digby Chicken Caesar, Numberwang Host, Raymond Terrific, John Gibson, Hans - SS Officer #1, BMX Bandit, Jason, Henry, Steve - Emergency Medical Treatment, Friend of Moneypenny, Roger - Dreamy Pastures Insurance Advert, Robert Webb

Quotes 

• SS Officer #2 : Er, Hans?

  SS Officer #1 : Have courage, my friend.

  SS Officer #2 : Yeah. Er, Hans, I've just noticed something...

  SS Officer #1 : [Looking through binoculars]  These communists are all cowards.

  SS Officer #2 : Have you looked at our caps recently?

  SS Officer #1 : Our caps?

  SS Officer #2 : The badges on our caps, have you looked at them?

  SS Officer #1 : What? No. A bit.

  SS Officer #2 : They've got skulls on them. Have you noticed that our caps have actually got little pictures of skulls on them?

  SS Officer #1 : Uh, I don't...

  SS Officer #2 : Hans... are we the baddies?

• Ted : Ooo, and that's a bad miss.

  Peter : It's very upsetting for him. Harry Vaughn, of course, is old enough to remember the days when that long walk back from the table ended in the consolation of a proper drink.

  Ted : Instead, all he can do is imagine that pint at the end of the session, the cooling larger-y swallow and that first suck on a Lambert.

  Peter : What a contrast, look at Harry Vaughn there, staring mournfully at his water.

  Ted : Look at that, you could put a goldfish in that glass and it wouldn't even die.

• Henry : I've had just about enough of you talking to me like this. I'd like to see the manager.

  Waiter : How can I possibly introduce you to the manager? You haven't shaved, you're not wearing a tie and you hold your ladle like a pen. Now take your gaudy but gratifyingly mute girlfriend and get out.

• SS Officer #2 : I really can't think of anything worse as a symbol than a skull.

  SS Officer #1 : A rat's anus?

  SS Officer #2 : Yes, and if we were fighting an army matching under the banner of a rat's anus I'd probably be a lot less worried, Hans.

• Robert Webb : [running in]  David! I've got this great... why are you being filmed?

  David Mitchell : It's for the background of one of the DVD menus.

  Robert Webb : What, just you sitting there?

  David Mitchell : Yeah, I sit here for five minutes and they loop it. At one point I scratch my face.

  Robert Webb : Well, who's gonna watch that?

  David Mitchell : Freaks.