- Bill Maher: I don't think any performer of any kind has a thick skin. I don't think you can do any good work if you do. You have to be sensitive to be good. And if you're sensitive, you're going to also sometimes suffer because of that.
- [first title card]
- Title Card: HECKLER
- [noun]
- Title Card: one who tries to embarrass, harass and/or annoy someone speaking or performing in public with gibes, questions and objections. Someone who provokes to affect a performer in a critical or negative way.
- [second title card]
- Title Card: Performers have always been heckled... but now the heckles just seem to come from... EVERYWHERE.
- [first lines]
- Heckler: [yelled at Jamie Kennedy while he's performing onstage] When are you gonna be on The Surreal Life?
- [last lines]
- Devin Faraci: Burning your reviews, uh, congratulations. I guess that there's some kind of real carthasis going on there, uh, and hopefully that will carry through to "Malibu's Most Wanted 2."
- Heckler: [to Jamie Kennedy] Why don't you make like a Kennedy and die young?
- Harland Williams: I got reviewed in USA Today, and I went to read the review and I was excited to see what they had to say. And instead of reviewing the movie, the lady reviewing the movie just abandoned the movie and started reviewing my face, and my body. She was like "This chinless geek, with his lanky, hillbilly body, and jug head and elephant ears..."
- [giggles]
- Harland Williams: Like, it was just like... And I'm like "What the...?" Obviously I'm not her type!