How I Met Your Mother (TV Series)

How Lily Stole Christmas (2006)

Neil Patrick Harris: Barney Stinson

Quotes 

• Barney : [Sick in bed]  This is a low point for the Barnacle. I should be out playing laser tag, being awesome. Don't look at me, I'm hideous!

  Robin : Oh, come on. You look like a regular guy.

  Barney : Exactly. I'm a Ted. Look at me, I'm wearing elastic waistband fleece pants.

  Robin : But they're comfy, right?

  Barney : [Weakly and ashamed]  Yes...

• Marshall Eriksen : [During his break-up with Lily]  Yeah. No, you're right. Lily would laugh at anything.

  Barney : She'd give it up for a bad pun. I'm telling you, she's a laugh slut.

  Ted : Remember that time we heard her laughing and we thought she was watching Weekend At Bernie's, but it turned out she was watching Weekend At Bernie's *2*?

  Barney : And her art? "I'm Lily, I'm an artist." She doesn't even own a beret.

• Barney : [after Ted calls Lily a "Grinch"]  Ted Vivian Mosby!

  Ted : That's not my middle name.

  Barney : Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?

  Ted : Like you've never said that word.

  Barney : I don't kiss your mother with my mouth. Yet.

• Ted : Do you have a cold?

  Barney : I'm fine! My nose was just overflowing with awesome and I had to get some of it out.

• Barney : Oh, Robin, my simple friend from the untamed north, let me tell you about a little thing I like to call mind over body. You see, whenever I start feeling sick, I just stop being sick and be awesome instead. True story. Yeah, in two minutes, I'm going to pound a sixer of Red Bull, hop in a cab, play a couple of hours of laser tag, maybe get a spray-on tan... it's gonna be legen- wait for it-...

  [he falls asleep] 

  Barney : .