- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: It's the middle of the night. You knew I'd be asleep.
- Dr. Gregory House: Phone would've woken you up just as much... but I can't see what you're wearing on the phone.
- Dr. Eric Foreman: He paged us at five in the morning for that? I'm going back to bed, distonia's not life threatening, who needs a panel to take care of it...
- Dr. Allison Cameron: He's already on conilizopan - for seizures he has from a bus accident when he was ten.
- Dr. Eric Foreman: Then we treat with Benstrupine.
- Dr. Robert Chase: [enters] What's up?
- Dr. Allison Cameron: 35 year old savant, distonia.
- Dr. Robert Chase: Pfft. I'm going back to bed.
- Dr. Gregory House: [appears] Where're you going?
- Dr. Robert Chase: Bathroom. It can wait.
- Dr. Eric Foreman: There is no case, House. Even if distonia was some big medical mystery, it's not this time.
- Dr. Gregory House: [shocked] You're not intrigued as to how a perfectly healthy ten year old boy with no prior musical training gets into an accident on his way to school and can suddenly play the piano?
- [Chase reaches across for the bag of breakfast, House takes it with his cane]
- Dr. Robert Chase: We have to solve a 25 year old case before breakfast?
- Dr. Gregory House: [looks at Chase and Cameron and their wet hair] You two shower together?
- Dr. Allison Cameron, Dr. Robert Chase: NO!
- Dr. Gregory House: [looks at Foreman] Double negative. It's a yes.
- [Foreman stares at Chase and Cameron]
- Dr. Gregory House: [scanning a brain damaged musical savant] Patrick, I want you to pretend your leg is a piano.
- Patrick Obyedkov: My leg's not a piano.
- Dr. Gregory House: I know. That's why I said pretend.
- [to Foreman]
- Dr. Gregory House: Kid's a moron!
- Dr. Gregory House: [finds the needle the Cameron was going to use to draw his blood] A little whorish to kiss and stab.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: You kissed back.
- Dr. Gregory House: I didn't want you to die without knowing the feeling. Actually no woman should die without knowing the feeling.
- Dr. Gregory House: You know what my team is doing right now?
- Patrick Obyedkov: No.
- Dr. Gregory House: They're trying to figure out what's wrong with me.
- Patrick Obyedkov: What's wrong with you?
- Dr. Gregory House: Thanks for asking. They found out that I'm dying.
- Patrick Obyedkov: That's sad.
- Dr. Gregory House: Everyone's dying.
- Patrick Obyedkov: That's sad.
- Dr. Gregory House: If a meteor lands on my head tomorrow, it's all academic. I told them to leave me alone, but did they?
- Patrick Obyedkov: Did they?
- Dr. Gregory House: That one was rhetorical.
- Dr. Gregory House: Your turn?
- Dr. Robert Chase: Do you have to do that?
- Dr. Gregory House: You mean, cheapen everyone's attempt at a human moment by identifying the real calculations that go into it?
- Dr. Robert Chase: Yeah.
- Dr. Gregory House: Yeah, I do.
- Dr. Robert Chase: I'm sorry you're dying. I'm gonna hug you. Anything to say?
- Dr. Gregory House: Well, if you're considering grabbing my ass, don't start anything you can't finish.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: [seeing an old photo of House] He's not smiling.
- Dr. Robert Chase: I wonder if he has teeth.
- Dr. James Wilson: Are you curious about heroin?
- Dr. Gregory House: Not since last year's Christmas party.
- Dr. Eric Foreman: I need to say something.
- Dr. Gregory House: Something personal?
- Dr. Eric Foreman: Yeah.
- Dr. Gregory House: I can't leave because you've got something interesting in that file.
- Dr. Eric Foreman: Sorry. You're an arrogant ass who makes it impossible for anyone to like him, by a bunch of people who don't deserve...
- Dr. Gregory House: Can we get to the "but" part of this speech?
- Dr. Eric Foreman: But I like you.
- Dr. Gregory House: No you don't. You're just reacting to the perception of my death. Need to put things in order, feel guilt.
- Dr. Eric Foreman: Would you just shut up?
- Dr. Gregory House: See? I annoy you.
- [to Cameron]
- Dr. Gregory House: Foreman and Chase's lips are not gonna get so close, now that I know your plan.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: [searching House's place] I'll take in here. Bedroom's down the hall.
- Dr. Robert Chase: You've been here?
- Dr. Allison Cameron: Where else would the bedroom be?
- Dr. Robert Chase: Come with?
- Dr. Allison Cameron: You're scared of him catching us breaking into his home, but you're not scared of him catching us doing it in his bed?
- Dr. Robert Chase: [to himself] If I'm gonna get fired anyway...
- Dr. Eric Foreman: He was testing blood in the clinic. Don't think it was a patient's blood.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: Why? It was green?
- Dr. James Wilson: I could set up a tower on the roof during a lightning storm, help you switch brains with your patient. Then you would be the brilliant pianist, and he would be the doctor hiding brain cancer from his friend.
- Dr. Gregory House: It's nothing.
- Dr. James Wilson: You need to talk about it.
- Dr. Gregory House: You need to talk about it.
- Dr. James Wilson: At least let me look at your medical file.
- Dr. Gregory House: You're making a big deal out of nothing. Who else knows?
- Dr. James Wilson: No one, and cancer isn't nothing.
- Dr. Gregory House: Sorry, didn't mean to offend your specialty.
- Dr. Robert Chase: You can't just randomly stab the temporal lobe and hope you hit the right spot.
- Dr. Gregory House: I'm only gonna take little tiny pieces.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: Until what?
- Dr. Gregory House: Until I find the problem.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: Or you kill him.
- Dr. Gregory House: No, I'll keep going even if I kill him.
- Dr. Gregory House: Twenty seconds. Pretty good.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: For what?
- Dr. Gregory House: Time it took you to go from hard-ass to human being.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: You're just looking for a puzzle to distract you from your own situation.
- Dr. Gregory House: You're right. He's dead. Let's go home.
- Dr. Gregory House: What the hell were you before you hit your head?
- Patrick Obyedkov: Hell is a bad word.
- Dr. Gregory House: So is ass, bitch, I could probably rattle off 50 much more complicated and disgusting ones, but then your dad would get pissed at me.
- Dr. Gregory House: [to Cameron, who's leaving room] If you need a sperm sample, come back without the needle.