Scrubs (TV Series)
My Words of Wisdom (2007)
Zach Braff: Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian
Quotes
-
Dr. Christopher Turk : How do you know sign language?
Janitor : Well when I was in high school, I was a volunteer janitor at the Hoboken Zoo. And one night I was out plucking peacock feathers to sell for pens, when I noticed Gary the Gorilla making the sign for food. I gave him my Danish. He gave the sign for "Thank you". Those were the only two signs that Gary knew, except for boobs. He liked 'em big and hairy.
Todd : Join the club, player.
Janitor : Get away.
Todd : Okay.
Janitor : So eventually, Gary I'm sorry to say died of lung cancer. For that I blame myself, because I used to share my smokes with him. But he also piqued my interest in signing. And in his memory, I took my first signing class.
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Is any of that true?
Janitor : Someone would have to read it back to me.
-
Dr. Christopher Turk : [referring to a deaf patient's deaf father] You know what's weird? He doesn't seem like a bad dad. He really loves that kid.
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Must be hard with the divorce, barely gets to see his son.
Dr. Christopher Turk : It would kill me.
Janitor : Maybe being deaf was the biggest connection he and his son had. You know when I was a kid, I made my dad teach me sign language so I could communicate with my deaf sister. Ended up closer with her than with anyone. Maybe Mr. Frances is afraid of losing that.
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Is any of that true?
Janitor : Mostly. My dad died before I was born.
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Wait a minute, I met your dad.
Janitor : You met a MAN.
-
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Dr. Cox!
Dr. Perry Cox : What? What now? What does somebody need now?
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Our deaf patient's father won't sign a consent form so he can have a cochlear implant.
Dr. Perry Cox : Hmm. Who could you possibly go to if the FATHER won't sign. Here's a hint: it begins with an M
[He draws an M in the air]
Dr. Perry Cox : and ends
[He draws an R]
Dr. Perry Cox : with an R.
Janitor : Marg Helgenberger!
Dr. Perry Cox : The MOTHER! Get the mother to sign it. The mother will sign it!
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : The mother, I told you.
Dr. Christopher Turk : The mother! Come on, man.
Janitor : Glad it's not Marg. We did not end well. Hell hath no fury like a Helgenberger scorned.
-
J.D. : Turk, there was no sour ball.
Dr. Christopher Turk : I knew that, I just didn't want to believe it.
Mr. Frances : [to his son] My lip reading really is horrible, because they couldn't be talking about sour balls while there is a sick child in the room.