Dean Collins: Mike Gold

Quotes 

• [Dave is not thrilled about Family Movie Night] 

  Dave Gold : So, ah, what are we watching, gang?

  Mike Gold : Oh, it's a great movie, Dad, you're gonna love it.

  Dave Gold : What, Rocky? Rocky 2? Rocky 3?

  Mike Gold : Dad, you know there are other great movies.

  Dave Gold : Rambo? Rambo 2? Rambo 3?

  Mike Gold : No, Dad, we're watching the critically-acclaimed film, 'An Inconvenient Truth'.

  Dave Gold : 'An Inconvenient Truth' - Who the hell's in that?

  Larry Gold : Al Gore.

  Dave Gold : Al Gore? What the hell kinda action hero is Al Gore? Who'd he ever kill with an assault rifle? At least that Cheney guy blew somebody's face off with a shotgun.

• [after Dave turns off the heat to save the environment, the kids bundle up and start complaining] 

  Vicky Gold : Hey, I thought you were all about the environment; now you're just abandoning it?

  [to Mike] 

  Vicky Gold : This is just like with that hamster. And Judaism. Come on, I know he's going overboard, but he's just trying to be a better person. I mean, yeah, sure, it's a pain in the ass right now, but these are fun family memories that you'll laugh about with your children one day.

  [Vicky laughs hysterically, trying to convince the kids, but they remain sullen] 

  Vicky Gold : OK, you're not laughing now, but trust me. Give it time.

  Mike Gold : I'm not gonna have any children if my wiener falls off!