American Dad! (TV Series)

A.T. The Abusive Terrestrial (2007)

Seth MacFarlane: Stan Smith, Roger the Alien

Photos 

Quotes 

• Roger the Alien : Oh, my God, look what's on Lifetime! Daphne Zuniga in "Spooning with Anger."

  Steve Smith : So?

  Roger the Alien : So? That's our favorite spousal abuse movie of all time. We gave it even higher marks that Valerie Bertinelli's classic, "Please Kevin, Not in the Face."

• Steve Smith : [to Roger about Henry hurting him]  Oh, my God, your eye! Did he hit you?

  Roger the Alien : It was my fault. I disobeyed Captain's orders and jeopardized the mission.

  Steve Smith : Stop making excuses for him! You sound just like Daphne Zuniga from that Lifetime movie and you remember what happened to her.

  Roger the Alien : Oh, my God! She ended up on ABC Family. Well, I'm not gonna let that happen to me.

• Stan Smith : Ah, Mr. Pibb. The cornerstone of our love. Delicious, refreshing and totally lacking in pretension.

• Roger the Alien : [When Roger and Henry are playing video games]  I win.

  Henry : Let's have a rematch.

  Roger the Alien : Nah, let's do something else. Ooh, ooh, let's play catch with a Koosh ball.

  Henry : I said I want a rematch!

  Roger the Alien : Ow, you're hurting me! Let me go!

  Henry : Oh, my God! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you.

  Roger the Alien : Well, I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, but that's exactly what you've done because I am hurting very much so.

  Henry : It's just that I hate to lose and I don't own a Koosh ball and I thought you wouldn't want to hang out with me anymore!

  [starts crying] 

  Roger the Alien : Hey, hey. Don't worry. We all make mistakes. I once took down the better part of a bottle of Amaretto and busted a growler in a museum donation box.

• Roger the Alien : [as he's riding in Henry's bike]  This is one sweet ride. What is she, a Huffy? Baby, you treat me so fine.

• Henry : Roger, don't go! I swear I'll change. We'll play all day and we'll make a fort out of pillows and I'll never be too busy for you. You're my alien.

  Roger the Alien : Oh, Henry, yes, yes! A thousand times, yes!

  Steve Smith : No! God, Roger, what the hell? You're the most backward-ass advanced live form ever.

  Henry : See? He doesn't care about you.

  Steve Smith : Look, Roger. I'm not gonna make a bunch of promises about how we're always gonna play together and how every moment's gonna be great. And if a girl calls and I think there's a shot at boob, I'm going for the boob. But I will come home and tell you about it because you're not my alien. You're my friend, my best friend.