Two and a Half Men (TV Series)

Young People Have Phlegm Too (2007)

Charlie Sheen: Charlie Harper

Photos 

Quotes 

• Charlie Harper : Let me tell you something, Alan. You're only as young as the women you feel. And lately, I've been feeling about 24.

• Alan Harper : My point is: there comes a time in a man's life where he has to start accepting his limitations.

  Charlie Harper : Yeah? Well, my point is: the day you start accepting limitations is the day you start dying. And I'm not dying, my friend. I am living life to the fullest. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go throw up and take a nap.

• Alan Harper : [Charlie and Alan are arguing about the double date they just came from]  What do you want from me? I-I-I went out to the club. I went to the after-hours club. I went out to breakfast. I held my date's hair while she vomited pancakes in the parking lot.

  Charlie Harper : Well, if you weren't whining about wanting to go home, you'd be having sex with her right now!

  Alan Harper : Oh, darn! What man doesn't dream of kissing second-hand pancakes?

• Alan Harper : Oh, let's face it. We're both too old for the MTV lifestyle.

  Charlie Harper : MTV? Did they just defrost you?

• Charlie Harper : [standing in line to get into a club]  Alan! Alan! You're embarrassing me!

  Alan : *I'm* embarrassing *you*? Look at yourself! You're standing in line, in a dank alley, in the middle of the urine district!

  Charlie Harper : Hey! Hey-hey-hey! This is the hippest club in town!

  Alan : Oh, hip smip! It's a toilet with a doorman!

• Donna : I have a little riddle for you: what has multiple orgasms and hums?

  Charlie Harper : I give up.

  Donna : Hmmmmmmmmm...