- Steve Smith: Dad! When were you gonna tell me that you're part of the Illumi-nutty?
- Stan Smith: Steve! That's crazy! I was never gonna tell you!
- Roger the Alien: Hey, Hayley-kins, want to play Jenga?
- Hayley Smith: That game's kind of lame. Unless you want to make it a little more interesting.
- Roger the Alien: Uh... no thanks.
- Hayley Smith: I thought you loved to gamble.
- Roger the Alien: Oh, is that what that means? Oh, I thought you were hitting on me. No, sure, yeah, let's play.
- Guest speaker: The average white man thinks about sex every six minutes - but thinks about sex with a black man only once a year!
- Steve Smith: I have no idea what he's talking about but I feel terrible.