Psych (TV Series)
Game, Set... Muuurder? (2007)
James Roday Rodriguez: Shawn Spencer
Photos
Quotes
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Shawn Spencer : Ah, yes... Jessica Chan. And how long was eternity for the two of you?
Burton 'Gus' Guster : Three months. But they were awesome months. Except for the end part.
Shawn Spencer : Right. I'd never seen a girl lie about entering the Witness Protection Program.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : She wasn't lying, Shawn.
Shawn Spencer : Gus, I saw her at Starbucks.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : You can't be sure of that.
Shawn Spencer : She was wearing a nametag. She had a plaque on the wall, Employee of the Month. Her hobbies were hiding and lying about hiding.
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Burton 'Gus' Guster : He wants to meet my grandmother.
Shawn Spencer : So?
Burton 'Gus' Guster : So, you know one of them is dead and the other one lives in Jamaica.
Shawn Spencer : Dude, relax! I know, like, five people that could easily play your grandmother.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : Okay, so you know a line-dancing octogenarian who can do chin-ups and has two broken hips?
Shawn Spencer : Yeah, as long as she can be Chinese.
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Landlord : [Gus is lying on the floor pretending to be dead] What the hell's going on?
Shawn Spencer : Nothing, man.
Landlord : Nothing? Is that guy dead?
Shawn Spencer : [sighs] Damn it. Now you've seen too much.
Landlord : Uh, I didn't see anything.
Shawn Spencer : Yeah, ya did. You're in this just as deep as I am now. We're going to have to work together.
Landlord : [nervous] Okay.
Shawn Spencer : I assume this building has an incinerator, yeah?
Landlord : Yeah.
Shawn Spencer : 'Kay. We just have to chop up the body. Then we put the limbs in little plastic baggies and the torso we're going to have to melt down with a blow torch.
[Landlord looks sick]
Burton 'Gus' Guster : [getting up] Okay, I've heard enough.
Landlord : [terrified at seeing Gus alive] Oh!
[runs from the room]
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Carlton Lassiter : Scratch that. I'm gonna let you guys stick around and see what real detecitves do.
Shawn Spencer : Sweet. Just let us know when they get here.
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[Shawn finds Henry and Lassiter having lunch together]
Henry Spencer : Shawn! What are you doing here?
Shawn Spencer : I don't know. I guess I took a wrong turn and ended up in the Twilight Zone.
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Shawn Spencer : What happened here?
Juliet O'Hara : This isn't a missing persons case anymore. It's attempted murder.
[Juliet walks away]
Burton 'Gus' Guster : Even *she* gets to say stuff like that!
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Tom : Hey, aren't you Henry Spencer's kid?
Shawn Spencer : That I am.
Tom : I took a six-week course he taught at the Academy.
Shawn Spencer : Lucky you. How was he?
[beat]
Tom : Uh...
Shawn Spencer : Yeah, that just about sums it up.
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Henry Spencer : Shawn never really was one for roughing it. We went camping once. Found him curled up in his sleeping bag because a raccoon was hunting him.
Shawn Spencer : Stalking me. The raccoon was stalking me, Dad.
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Burton 'Gus' Guster : So... The prophecy has been fulfilled.
Shawn Spencer : Hmm. What? What are you talking about? What prophecy?
Burton 'Gus' Guster : Nothing. I just figured it was finally my chance to say something dramatic
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Shawn Spencer : Ooh, I suddenly have the urge to get my bunions buffed.
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Eve : [about Deanna's boyfriend] Her father totally freaked when he found out, and he told her to end it. Then she tried to be all rebellious and storm off the court.
Shawn Spencer : Eww! How grody of her.
Eve : Grody?
Shawn Spencer : Grody to the max. Grody with a spoon. Come on, work with me, I don't know what the kids are saying these days.
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Burton 'Gus' Guster : Wait a second! This is my 'Airwolf' windbreaker. I've been looking for this for like five years now. Why did you take this? I never even saw you wear it!
Shawn Spencer : Of course I didn't wear it. I took it so you wouldn't. Don't put it on! Gus, nobody had an 'Airwolf' jacket except Jan-Michael Vincent!
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Shawn Spencer : Dude, I need you to lay on the ground - pretend to be Deanna.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : I'm not pretending to be a woman half- beaten to death, Shawn.
Shawn Spencer : You know what, I'm starting to wonder if you have serious trust issues with me.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : Really?
Shawn Spencer : Yes. First you wouldn't do the mine field with me, now you won't lay on the floor and pretend to be an unconscious woman - for me. What's going on with you?
Burton 'Gus' Guster : Mmmm...... two words: Airwolf windbreaker.
Shawn Spencer : Alright. Two more: AIRWOLF WINDBREAKER.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : Battleship.
Shawn Spencer : Dude, that was like a million years ago.
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Shawn Spencer : She clearly has someone Daddy doesn't approve of. We find the mystery lover... we find her.
Burton 'Gus' Guster : Dude... why don't I ever get to say stuff like that?