How I Met Your Mother (TV Series)
Arrivederci, Fiero (2007)
Josh Radnor: Ted Mosby
Photos
Quotes
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Barney Stinson : [inching along at about 1 mph] This isn't right... God never meant for us to travel at such breakneck speeds.
Ted Mosby : Relax, you're doing great. Ignore the old lady on the Rascal; this isn't a race.
Barney Stinson : *Guh* Dude! A dog!
Ted Mosby : Zitch-dog! Yes! One-Nothing.
Barney Stinson : Crap! Whaddo I do? Tell me what to do, Ted.
Ted Mosby : Step on the brake... Some time in the next twenty minutes...
Barney Stinson : Which... Which one's the brake again?
Ted Mosby : The left one.
Barney Stinson : Left. Left. Oh man, left. I'm totally blanking!
Ted Mosby : Just make the "L's" with your hands.
Barney Stinson : Ooooh! We're not gonna make it!
[Radio turns on]
Barney Stinson : Wah!
Ted Mosby : Why did you just turn on the radio?
Barney Stinson : I DON'T KNOW WHY I TURNED ON THE RADIO! We're gonna die, tell me what to do Ted!
Ted Mosby : Relax, you're being crazy!
Barney Stinson : Help me Ted!
Ted Mosby : Stop, drop, and roll.
Barney Stinson : Be serious! Stop, drop and roll? Just tell me what to do. Just tell me what to do!
Ted Mosby : Throw me the idol, I'll throw you the whip. Screaming is fun! Screaming is fuuuuuuun!
[Both scream]
Barney Stinson : Uh! I cant move. I can't... I can't feel my... Uh... We're okay...
Ted Mosby : We're okay.
Barney Stinson : It's a MIRACLE, Ted!
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Ted Mosby : [Marshall asks Ted if he can give him a ride from Ohio to college] First of all, my parents live in Ohio. I live in the moment.
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Ted Mosby : [Narrating the story of his and Marshall's road trip] Then Marshall; who was so busy cheating at Zitch-dog got us totally lost.
Marshall Eriksen : Where the hell are we?
Marshall Eriksen : [Narrating] Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on. I think you skipped something.
Barney Stinson : Really? Seems impossible
Ted Mosby : [Back to the road trip] Hey, we got some time. What dpoyou say we get off the highway; take the road less traveled... ya know? Robert Frost.
Marshall Eriksen : Doesn't seem like a smart idea.
Ted Mosby : Too late, I'm taking this exit... who's not fun enough now Karen.
Marshall Eriksen : [Narrating] *Then* we got lost.
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Ted Mosby : Barney Stinson, Buckle-up!
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Barney Stinson : How's the Fiero?
Marshall Eriksen : She's still in triage.
Ted Mosby : Wait a minute, she? I thought it was your little boy.
Lily Aldrin : It goes back and forth. It's like a trannie car.
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Ted Mosby : That trip is when Marshall and I became best friends.
Barney Stinson : With privileges, from the sound of it.
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Robin Scherbatsky : Sounds like you had quite an accident.
Ted Mosby : Actually, two accidents, if you count...
Barney Stinson : Homina, homina, homina!
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Marshall Eriksen : Hey, light up those cigars in the glove compartment
[Ted opens the glove compartment]
Marshall Eriksen : They're real Cubans. I got them in Chinatown last year just for this moment.
Ted Mosby : Marshall, I'm not saying you were definitely ripped off but these are chopsticks wrapped in napkins.
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Ted Mosby : Remember the 100K fiasco?
Marshall Eriksen : Ah, the Fiero-asco.
Ted Mosby : Dude, I told you that doesn't work; it's the 100K fiasco.
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Ted Mosby : [after Marshall asks Ted if he wants a ride home with him] Karen and I haven't seen each other since Thanksgiving and we're both really invested in making this long distance thing work.
Marshall Eriksen : Well, call me if you change your mind; my odometer is going to hit 100K.
Ted Mosby : Nah, she'd be so bummed if I left early.
Ted Mosby : [Later, in the Fiero] It was totally mutual. I mean, Karen brought it up first, but I... it was totally mutual.
Marshall Eriksen : I hear ya.
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Ted Mosby : Yeah, you wanna play zitch-dog?
Marshall Eriksen : What?
Ted Mosby : It's a car game. Every time you see a dog, you gotta be the first one to say "Zitch-dog!" I'm pretty good so...
Marshall Eriksen : Zitch-dog
Ted Mosby : Ah... no, I didn't know we had started. But... okay, that's cool you got the first point.