- President Skroob: The Mighty Meteor? You gotta be kidding. I can barely see it. Helmet, what the hell is this, a model?
- Dark Helmet: I'm afraid it's the real McCoy, sir.
- President Skroob: The Real McCoy, why is it so small?
- Dark Helmet: Budget cuts, your Scroobness. We've spent all our money fighting unwinnable wars. This meteor is all we can afford.
- Barf: I'll get the duct tape.
- Lone Starr: No, Barf. I think it's time...
- Barf: No, no, don't say it, don't say it!
- Lone Starr: ...for a new van.
- Barf: Ah, you said it! Have you no heart? This, this van is vintage. It's, it's, it's got history.
- Lone Starr: It's got pizza from 1983 under the seats. Point taken.
- Princess Vespa: When was the last time we drove with Lone Starr and it didn't smell like hot wet barf inside?
- Barf: [about to hit the shower] Huh, I'll remedy that shortly, sisters.
- President Skroob: Helmet, I refuse to work with Indiots. I have my limits, you know.
- Dark Helmet: But Sir, any indiot can do this job.
- Dot Matrix: What's up with Lone Starr and his van? He's like... obsessed.
- Barf: Hah. You know what he's been calling it lately? Huh. His 'Man'.
- Princess Vespa: You're kidding. His what?
- Lone Starr: My Man. Half miracle, half man. Just like Barf is my Mawg, half man half dog.
- Yogurt: Where the hell is Lone Starr? We need him to safe Druidia from this meteor.
- Princess Vespa: Oh, he's busy rubbing wax on his Man.
- Dark Helmet: The meteor appears to have stopped moving, Sir.
- President Skroob: Ah, so it's going about the same speed as your brain now, huh? Parked.
- Barf: I guess that sound means were going to commercial again huh?
- Dot Matrix: I hope it's for adult dating.
- Yogurt: Hurry Lone Starr, hurry, we don't have much time left in this episode.
- Dot Matrix: And if we go over our pagecount, the network will kill us.